I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope|
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Tuesday, October 12th, 2004
:sighs: Why did you have to talk to me? Make me like you more, only to tell me you have a g/f?! It crushed my heart. I was content with looking at you from a distance and ocassionally saying hi. Now that I'm getting to know you.. I like you.. Ahhhh..
Yes. I finally said the name of my crush.. but it doesn't matter. He has a g/f. I hate how when everything goes right for once, and in an instant, things go terribly wrong. Whenever I'm happy.. something bad happens. I hate it.. Nothing ever good happens to me! Whyyyy! Why does Lee have to have a g/f?!? They barely see each other. They are forbidden to see each other.. Ugh! Why aren't they broken up! Why aren't me and Lee together?!..
Today was a wonderful day... especially talking to you. Then, you had to tell me you had a g/f and break my heart.
</3 Current Mood: crushed
Dear my body,
I'm tired of being fat. Please stop it now.
everytime i feel like i'm over you i just look at you and i can't stop myself from loving you, every part of me wants you to talk to me. tell me how you feel, because you know how i do. i can't believe how much power you have over me, one word out of your mouth could either tear me apart or completely leave me in extasy. i think i love you.
you know how i feel about him, and as much as i don't want to admit it i feel for you as well. i'm torn, you are such a great friend to me and i know you like me, but as much as i want to act on my feelings, i know/hope/dread him asking me out, i would completely leave you and i don't want to do that, i don't want to lead you on, i don't want to hurt you. you are the sweetest guy there ever was and ever will be, but i really don't want to leave you in the dark. as much as i hate to say it, i like you......but i love him.
you were my best friend ever last year, what happened?
it was just the two of us. now you have so many people crowded around you and i don't matter anymore. what the fuck?
i can't decide whether i love or hate you, the things people say to me make me feel like i'm worth something. but then i think about all that i am and can't control my anger, sometimes i want to die. Current Mood: numb
what the fucc!? why the hell do you do this. just because i flirt doesnt mean i like other guys! i dont! i only like you. i may thing a few other guys are cute but that doesnt mean i like them. and you know how much i like you because ive told you. ugh you could at least PICK UP THE PHONE and maybe tell me what i did wrong so maybe i could fix it. what the hell you know what i dont even know why im putting up with this shit. we arent even going out. i can do whatever the hell i want. we dont even go out im not tied down to you. and this isnt even the first time you made me feel like shyt. i dont know what to do. part of me just wants to say screw it. because if were not going out now and you make me feel like this whats gonna happen if we do go out. and not to be cocky but if i really wanted i could have a boyfriend by friday. hell if i really wanted i could have five boyfriends by friday. but all the other guys i could get with, and believe me theres a few, they;re different. all they want is a peice of ass. and it seems to me that you want alot more than that. thats why i dont want to let you go. but if you ever make me feel like this again. i will.
im sorry for what ever i did.
Dear A Bunch of People,
Don't ever talk shit about my best friend. She hasn't changed, you have. You guys must all be jealous because the guys don't like you, they like her. Get over yourselves and stop dragging her down to make yourselves feel better. She would never talk about you behind your backs. Next time I hear one more rude comment I'm not going to respond as nicely/calmly. I think it's time you learned to be a little more mature. FYI: We're not in 3rd grade anymore. Just so you know cos I don't think you did.
Sarah Current Mood: crappy