Dear Matt and Daniel,
Please. I beg you. Don't touch me ever again. Not like that. It pulls too many memories from my childhood. And I can't speak. I can't tell you to stop. I just pull away. But I know you are both stronger and pull me back, or just move more.
This afternoon Daniel, I was curled up, and you just kept moving closer and closer, moving your hands and body closer to mine. Trying to touch me. I tightened and just shut my eyes hoping it would all stop. You were all too close to me. I don't like it. I don't like you when you do that.
And Matt, you constantly want to hold my hand. Get a hug. Kiss my neck. We aren't
going out. Never will we if I'm going to feel this uncomfortable. Not that I was planning on it anyway, but this like anilates any .00000000001 chance.
Don't do that anymore. I can't take it. I feel violated. Used. It makes me feel like I was 8 years old again... and *stops self.*
I feel so fucking uncomfortable now.
No one touches me unless I want them to. Everyone
knows that. Because I personally TELL everyone. I hate contact. Especially that kind, especially when you have no reason, other than raging hormones which I fail to return everytime. I feel so 'sexual drive' or shit like that. I feel sick. You're lucky I didn't throw up on you Daniel. I'm getting dizzy again right now.
Do NOT touch me like that. It takes me a while to get used to the fact that when I go out with a guy he wants to put his arm wround my waist. Sure. I can deal with that. But not other places. Not even holding my hand.
Shit, I don't fucking trust either of you anymore. You just scare the fuck out of me.
Just stop god damn it! Current Mood: spazzed