September 11th, 2004

Masuimi Max

(no subject)


how is it that you existed for the past 18 years with nothing happening in any similar way to things I went through yet we've turned out the same this far? I don't understand it.
My fireflies mean the same thing to me that your ying-yang means to you. You over explain yourself, which is something I could never stop myself from doing no matter how hard I tried. You read people's actions and reactions the same way that I do (eventually you'll be better than me, you being in psychology and all). Our egos, our opinions, our needs, our wants, everything seems to be at the same level. The things we write and share with each other seem to have such similar thought processes. When I read through yours I kept feeling like I had met my match and every day that feeling gets stronger. Who knew that the beginning of falling in love could show itself so quickly?

happy five days darlin'. I'll be seeing you soon

- Kiddo.
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a few letters

I've been part of this community for a while but never posted any letters. A few things have been going on lately that i just need to get out. so here are a few letters

Dear ******,
Why do you think you can just treat your friends like pieces of shit. I understand that we all have our bad days and what not, but it seems that you are constantly having a bad day. And even when you're in a good mood, you think you are the supreme, the ultimate. I know you think that you are too good for us. But in all honesty, who else would you have if it weren't for us who are your friends despite some things you have done? I don't know why I let you treat me like you do. Just because occasionally I'd rather not go to certain parties with you doesn't mean that I'm a worthless friend, which you make me feel like every time i decline to go to those parties. And now, you've made a new friend, which is great. But I'm thinking that you think this is your chance out of our friendship and your friendships with others who I'm almost sure share the same feelings. There ARE times when you are fun to hang out with and a great friend. But lately, you've been acting pretty bitchy towards me and I really don't understand what I've done. So, I'm going to continue to be your friend like always and pretend like everything is perfectly fine when its not. i don't know why I do that but I do.

Dear ***,
You've changed. And not for the better. You've changed so much and I don't like it. Everyone that I've talked to about it thinks so too. Ever since you got the hot guy at camp and started talking to MG you think you are the shit. And I know, I once had my obsession w. MG and I told you it's over because what’s the point. But you continue to tell him about it, which is rude. And now, YOU are obsessed with MG, despite how much you deny it, you are. You'll talk to him online but when it comes to talking to him in person, you're all like "OMG I can't talk to him yeah right". But then you'll say things like "We are gonna go to Homecoming together. I know it. Then we're gonna date". No, you're not. Because you can't even talk to him in person. And last night, at the football game, you were so concerned with where he was the whole time and who he was talking to. And because of that, you have changed. You and K are always together and you leave people out. You talk about people behind their backs, who are supposed to be your closest friends. You were never like that last year. Last year, you were the sweetest girl i knew, always nice and cute. Now you are like a total bitch. And despite how many times you say you don't like J, I know you want to be just like her. Why you'd want to be like her is beyond me. And you, also, are excited about a new friend, the same friend. I’m not sure why. Maybe just because J is. Personally, I’m totally fine with our “group” the way it is. I don't know what's going on this year but everyone is changing. Some for the better and some for the worst. There are a total of FOUR people who I can honestly stand lately. And you are not one of them.

Dearest Jer,
I wanted you to be at the game last night. I needed someone to vent to. And since you aren't part of my "circle of friends" I know I could tell you about everything that was on my mind. I was having a very bad night and all I could think about was how I wanted you to be there with me.
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    Matchbook Romance