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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Friday, September 3rd, 2004

Time Event
9:39a
dear ______,

"Here I am, So far way,
Out of sight, out of mind"
Is that it....out of sight, out of mind? Thats how I feel. We hardly talk. When we do actually talk it's all the generic how ya doin yada yada yada stuff. You don't open up to me anymore. I don't like feeling brushed aside - just because I'm not standing next to you. I just hope it's not because of what other people think...

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."

-Me

Current Mood: sad
x
11:40a
Johnny,

Down, down, down,
pick me up I'm falling.


Certain ones of us can do what they want. Start a riot and overreact. But I can't?

Yeah.

Maybe you should just forget me. you'd be happier. she sure as hell would be happier. Why not? You have nothing important to lose. It just seems you could be less confused and less hurt, I don't like you being hurt. I really don't. I'd rather hurt and I'm willing to.

Me.
x
1:57p
zack,

why were you being such an idiot on the phone last night? hah scratch that question. i dont want to hear the answer. actually i dont care about the answer. im just lucky i think. if i had talked to you when i was still completely head over heels for you and you had been like that i would have been completely devastated. that would have torn me apart. and while it makes me a little bit angry, for the most-part i dont care anymore.

oh thank heavens...for sexy juniors =)

thank you for making me realize that you really are just like every other guy ive ever dated. and while i did love you for a while your not worth all my time and energy anymore. im moving on. finally.

<3
nicole
x
3:37p
2 ||x
4:48p
dear anita,

take some responsibility in your life. Everything you do, you font a way to blame somebody else. You wrecked heathers car, and instead of apoligizing, you told heather that /someone/ (hinting towards me) tried to set you up.

and no, im not scared of you. Nor am I scared of nicole. Im sick of all your melodramatic bullshit. You are fifteen, start acting it.


plskthx,
patricia
x
4:58p
x
5:29p
Dear ______,

You're winning me over with everything you say.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
When I let you closer, I only want you closer.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
Yeah, if you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
If you love me at all..

♥ Wendy
x
5:37p
To my dearest love.... Alcoholism
Thank you, love. I haven't had a drink in weeks and I'm going insane. I miss you ever so much. I know it's been forever and you've probably forgotten me but I haven't forgotten you. I think about you every day. So much better than Crystal... I love her as well, but not nearly as much as you. i'm excited that I might get to see you again tonight. So that's that. Remember me as he's holding back my hair as I vomit into the bushes.

xxxLove lovexxx
Gimpy
x
5:38p
Roman,

Out of sight,
Out of mind,
Out of reach..
Start over's no way to begin.

You're out of sight, and out of reach, but I'll never forget about you. You'll never completely leave my mind.
I mean.. I think about other things. I think about school, life, music (jazz <3, and hell, Josh Groban, but only because of youu), about my friends and my family, but I miss you so much and I love having you cross my mind.
It's crazy that I fell for you this much in the space of three days. I almost said two.. but I'm going to count Thurs, 'cuz you waking up at six AM to say goodbye to me meant SO much. Especially since we were out so late the night before, hanging out, just being together, and you sang and your hands are pure comfort.
And you wore the same soggy shorts, *giggle*
But I do have a point here!! Really, I do. I miss you. And I'm so freaking honored to know I meant something to you. I can't imagine how many girls fall for you in Mass, because you're so freaking amazing. Your a true gentleman, you're so sweet and shy, but so freaking funny when you finally open up. You're everything. I love your spacey-ness, I love your smile, I love your voice and your laugh and how you simply knew me.
I'm so glad we met. And well.. I just wanted to let you know. Rock on, you rockin' rocker.

- Rainbow

Current Mood: cozy and happy
x
9:34p
Dear me,

Why can't you get over your past? Let those last few people off the hook let them go. It seems that your just holding on because you're too scared to move on and everyone you begin to talk has some fault that drives you crazy. Even the females who you just want to be friends with drive you nuts and what's the point. Everyone has their person to hold onto or their group you're all alone.

Taske the pep rally today. You sat in the upper corner of the senior section and read a book. Ironically the book "the perks of being a wallflower" there's a passage you underlined that you should always remember. Remember how you felt so left out in that hour and how all you wanted to do was go home and sleep. That's not normal. Not normal at all. Just think that college will hopefully be better. Far away from all the groups that already exist at SOHS.

No matter what mom says know that you will get in somewhere and you will succeed.

Love at the moment,
yourself
x
11:05p

[...]

     So. A year onwards. I suppose we're back where we're started. I know how you feel. You know how I feel. Infact, I know how you did feel. How do you feel now? Tell me, please. I need to know. What I just said to you then. I meant every word. Anytime. Please.

      I was so gutted about having to do what I did, and I really am sorry. I don't suppose you'll ever really know the reason, so I'm just gonna carry on bullshitting and pretend that it's all okay. I suppose if I do, I'll jepordise what we have. So how about we just enjoy it while it lasts. I mean, if we're realistic, it lasted about a day last time. But then again, I wasn't this keen on keeping it this way. Sure, I was keen about you. But you being around me. It just hurt. Alot.

     When you told me. It was like a dream come true. But I knew it could never work. I had too much stuff going on. When I got off the phone, I just stood and shook. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't hurt him like that. I didn't want to. But, I knew that pushing you away would do nothing but lead to shit loads of regret, which I didn't want. No way. And I made my decision. And I knew right away that I'd done the right thing. I settled, and hoped it would get better with time.

     I didn't even fucking try.

     Sorry.

-Viki.

x

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