I know this is for letters but I need some advice on a memior I've just written. If you could point out anything that needs to be explained or any suggestions fo improvement I would greatly welcome it. thanks
There are those people seen everyday; the teenagers on the street who look like they could care less, the adults driving their kids to school, and the students walking through the hallways of a high school in basically the same outfits everyday. There’s that one guy who for some reason or another catches the attention of one girl for just that moment and sparks something. An innocent glance that no one could realize would change everything. She may wonder why he has three of the same sweatshirts (yellow, purplish gray, and black) or why he feels the need to hide his t-shirts with a button down Hawaiian shirt.
That guy in my life is Ryan. One year older then I am but in the same grade our lives collided and instantly changed. Something in his brown eyes made me want to stick around and see the story unfold. His eyes constantly showed pain from his first heartbreak, the love of his life gone, and Robin to the rescue. Infrequent talks on AIM became more frequent and turned into walks around the school in the morning. Passing by the green and white alternating lockers we talked. He would joke about some TV show I hadn’t seen or something he saw online. He’d shift his wait onto my shoulder slowly pushing me in a diagonal path across the hallway and into the lockers with a smile on his face. Later that day we would walk in the same circles as we did that morning waiting for academic team to start.
There was one time when neither of us really felt like going to academic team practice. So we skipped it. We were only sophomores though and seeing as both of our parents would be picking us up later in front of the school we had nothing else to do but walk the hallways. It was winter, and so naturally unheated hallways were cold. It was then that I was offered the famous purplish gray sweatshirt to wear for the first time. Wearing a sweatshirt too big for me we walked around the first floor until we got to Mrs. Berry’s room, the academic team coach, and then we quickly docked under the door’s window to avoid being seen. Almost every time around we would break into subdued laughter at how we must look to other people in the halls, but that was the fun in it. Together we could act like little kids back in a complete state of innocence, just trying to make the other person laugh.
There were many nights online where he’d type some silly saying in his signature font choice of the moment, and I’d laugh. I was the ‘silly monkey’ or the ‘bob-n’ followed closely by the smiley face with a tongue sticking out (:-P). We were ‘secret agents’ who knew of the various online translators that would translate English to Portuguese and back again to English. It was our secret one that still might be brought up every once in a while. Portuguese was our language, some couples or friends might have songs but we had our language. It was a language neither one of us could speak but it was ours.
Things between us were great until every happy moment was momentarily deleted. Ryan had lost the love that he wanted, his eyes showed that quite clearly. Once again in his font choice for the moment, this time a black background with white font, he told me I was to blame. I was at fault for him losing that previously mentioned love, and for any problems he had with our mutual friends. Something wasn’t right and it was my fault.
Many months passed before I could look at those eyes without immense hatred. Months marked with pain, and heartbreak from losing the one person in the world who would understand me at any given moment. My buddy to walk around the halls with had faded into the rest of those strangers. And for months I can say that I didn’t know Ryan at all. I would sit behind him in English two and not have a single word to say to him. I had clearly lost the battle for his heart and in order to accept that I had to move on past it.
The next school year Ryan no longer walked the hallways of the school with the green and white lockers. He was at a brand new high school in the district and the time had come to forgive and forget.
Once again Ryan and I started our relationship by talking online. This time his font choice was a dark blue background with a light gray font. I saw him and the one thing I realized after about 5 months of not talking was the fact that his eyes had changed. His brown eyes weren’t filled so much with hatred or lose, he seemed so happy. He was happy and so was I and together we had those moments back.
The hatred towards each other that marked so many months of our young lives was slowly forgotten and filled with more pleasant times. February 14th, a day typically marked for lovers, was the district academic team meet. I had nothing else to do and so to waste the day I decided to go with the quick recall team to Henry County. Ryan was there. We sat together on the bus like old times. As with any academic team competitions there are down periods where teams would have no match scheduled, or a match may have run longer then other matches. During these times we would walk the unfamiliar hallways of another high school. Together again, almost back to where we began. There was less innocence this time around but more understanding. Together and separately we were happy.