to anyone who cares (not like anyone will)...
I think I have serious problems believing that anyone really wants to have anything to do with me. And I can't figure out why. But I'm really really insecure about people just pretending to want to be my friend or like me or whatever. Even when I know that (at least sometimes) I'm being ridiculous.
I'm so like that with Tony it's ridiculous. And I feel stupid but I don't know what to do. It's like how I can't bring myself to call him on the phone. Which no one seems to understand. But to me, I hate calling people on the phone because I always feel like they pick up and they're like "Why are you calling, I don't want to talk to you"
And I don't know what to do parce que I miss Tony. I haven't seen him in 17 days and I may not get to see him again for a while because his only ride is Matt's brother. And Matt is being an ass so Kelly and him are fighting and therefore can't stand each other. And I need someone there to hang out with Tony parce que my mommy doesn't know we're dating so she'd think it was weird if the two of us went somewhere. And I'm like "Wtf? This sucks so hard and I'm lonely and I really just need a hug and someone to tell me I'm pretty."
I think I've gone insane.