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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004

Time Event
12:37p
from me to you.
zack,

i want to be over you now. i dont want to hurt like this anymore. im sick of writing these letters to you. all of these pathetic letters that i know i will never send. and im sick of writing all of my songs and poems about you.and im sick of dreaming about you and thinking about you and crying over you and missing you.

i wish i could say i saw this coming. because in a way, i did. but that doesn't help. it doesn't make me feel any better and really it doesn't make it any easier.

if i really really truly wanted to, i could have a new boyfriend by the end of this week. i know it, and you know it too. but the truth is i dont want somone new. because it wont be the same. and no one can ever take your place.

so when i die alone, remember this.
its all your fault.

love always,
nicole
x
2:56p
sorry if this is lame or something...


My Letter to the World
last night i realized i lost this fight.
i prayed to God to keep me strong, but like everything else it went wrong.
i'll take my life with one last wish that you all will remember me and you'll be missed.
13 ||x
10:22p
Dear you,

You're supposed to be out of my life.Please stop entering my dreams. They're the only thing I have to escape from reality.

nothing more than a line in your book,
mel.
x
11:03p
Dear you,
I hate you for what you did to me.
Making me feel this pain.
I thought I was better off leaving you,
But, oh man, was I wrong.
If anything, that's my biggest mistake, leaving you.
The only word to describe how I've felt for months, is pain.
I wish I could just go up to you and say "Hi".
No way, that, my friend, will just risk more rejection, more pain.
I've felt far too much of that in my life.
Rejection would make it worse.
So, I guess the point of this letter was just to say "thanks".
Thanks for breaking my heart.
Thanks for giving me my last little bit of courage I needed to go through with my plan.
Thanks for being my suicidal lover.
<3always,
The one who fell for you.



this is just to let you all know I am not planning on killing myself. it's just how i ended my letter/poem.
1 ||x

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