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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Friday, August 6th, 2004

Time Event
11:09a
dear reece -
i miss you like i've never missed anyone else in my life. if i had one wish, i'd waste it on you.
you shouldn't live in north dakota, but you shouldn't live here in ohio either.
let's open up a restaurant in santa fe.
i'm serious. this isn't just my crazy rent-loving heart talking. it's a good idea, baby.
i promise i won't call you baby ever again.
but you could make the food and i could serve it all, you could tend a bar and i could throw back shots. in santa fe, because i could turn tan in the sun, naturally.
and we'd be so far away from everything: your parents, my parents, my impossible friends, all of those faulty relationships.
we never had much luck with love.
and all over the place, we could write our poetry. we'll serve tea and instead of bread, we'll set out bowls of lucky charms for people to eat before their meals.
sometimes, at night, in between thoughts of ex-boyfriends, i think about you. and i'll get this aching somewhere really deep inside of me. i'll think of your smile and how sweet you always were, how much i miss you.
a long time ago, you said you'd always have my back. you'd be there for me. thank you. it meant a lot.
i don't think you should major in physics. i think you should be a poet. or a musician. you'd make it. you have a glow that draws people in.
love,
carly
x
2:46p
So her name is Makayla. The way your eyes sparkled when you said that made me wish I had left weeks ago.

So you started hanging out with her July 4. You were still pretty much with me June 29. Five fucking days after I went on vacation. This explains why you were kind of avoiding me.

I don't want to have to talk to you about everything this makes me feel.

All I've needed lately was you. All I wanted was you to hug me, tell me things will get better, and that you love me.

But her name is Makayla.

Just know, I will always love you more.
x

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