August 4th, 2004

(no subject)

Dear Josh,

     I don't know why you continuously are an asshole to me. I've never done anything to you, and I'm sick of you treating me like shit. You won't even listen to how I feel. You are a dick. And I hope your happy that you lost the best thing that ever happened to you. I just wanted to be your friend, but you don't even want that. I deserve alot better than you. Maybe one day when you grow up we can be friends. Until then, I want nothing to do with you. Thanks for helping me finally get over you. Maybe when your totally in love with some girl, she'll treat you the way you treated me and then you'll know how I feel. Then you can tell me you know how I felt, cause you have absolutely no idea of the heartache you caused me. I could never send you this because you wouldn't understand and most likey wouldn't give a shit either. So thanks for waiting this long to show yourself, cause now that I can see you, I don't think you're worth a second glance.

  • Current Mood
    curious curious
♥ __i sew myself shut

(no subject)

Dear You’ll~Know~Who~You~Are~If~You~Read~This,

I tell myself that you don’t remember me. Why would you when I was just another face in the overcrowded room? When I was just another face lost in the moment as the others? But it’s so hard convincing myself of that when our eyes locked more than once. Call me crazy for thinking that you just might have been talking to me. But what about when we got so close as to have been able to brush arms and it’s like our eyes drawn to met again by some unknown force when I wasn’t even watching you?
I’m crazy, really. I’m just another crazy person that walks down the street looking for a hope, or maybe just a small sign to get out of this rut. Yeah, I tell myself that whenever I’m reminded of you. But after all the times I’ve prayed to be able to move on, it’s like I’m not supposed to move on; like there’s a reason behind all this.
It’s time I learned to walk on my own two feet and quit crawling.
But when I do, I’ll be humming that song that began playing in mind that the wondering look in your eyes sang to me.
So for the rest of the day, I’m gonna move on, and leave the rest up to tomorrow to decide where I go from there.

Here’s the hug I meant to give you,

P.S. – I’m really sorry to all of you for how psychotic I sound by that
  • Current Music
    Pennywise \x\ Living For Today
my shoes

(no subject)

dear m --

why are you so perfect?? why do we have to like the same music and the same movies?? why do you have to have those shiny dark brown eyes that i just get trapped in and that contagious smile?? why is it that when we're talking and it's you and me and like 5 other people, it still feels like it's just you and me?? why do you have to be tall and have this slight little hick accent that's just adorably sexy and you have this whole noble and chivalrous thing while still having that typical guy thing going on?? why do you make me smile like this??

agh. falling for you hurts.

  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent

(no subject)

Dear K. Bond,

I talked to mrs. Reedy today about working on the book before and after school she want's me to get out of aiding but I am taking your advice and not leaving that class. I will not subject myself to the class itself. Because Kristin there is no way in hell that I would ahve gotten through those two years without you and sadly I have no way of telling you this. But thank y9ou. Thanks for the tears of laughter and the trips to Mrs. Ferriel together. I know you weren't happy and neither was I but you always made me smile. Wether it was the hole in the pants or the falling out of chairs or the back rubs or the snorting any of it, thanks. (I enjoyed having you in so many of my classes last year and I appreciate it greatly. You will be missed.

the girl witht he computer next to yours

Dear NAthen,
I want to come back and yet I don't I hope you can understand that.

Screw you in one day you made be a cynical unhappy bitch and I hate you for it. I hate how I walk in the building and feel the immediate need to pretend and I hate how you took some of the former best friends I had away. I hate you through and through.

Dear work.
I don't think youy will ever realize how funny you look chasing flies but I wonder why am I ever the only one working and yet I get paid crap. SOmetimes you frustrate me.
ANd why did you make me slip up and say somethign that I shouldn't have said because it makes sense to you. Your definitions don't have to be placed in my little world. Please stop it it only hurts later on and you aren't around to see that.

Dear whom it may concern.

WHy do I have to feel like this now. It's been a good summer and there's still a weekend left yet there were so many things left undone. Nathen and I never went to cincinnatti I never took a road trip anywhere I didn't get to the beach I didn't do a lot. Yet this summer seems perfect looking back. and I owe a lot to those who helped in making it a good summer yet it's not over yet. I'm set to have at least one more night of fun. I feel the need to say something to complain about someone's behavior's or my own but there's nothing left to say. But whom ever this concerns and you will know who you are. Please don't throw it all away when school starts. I've realized all I've basically done this summer except work and arizona was hang out with Ryan and although most people would have loved to do a bunch more or to change significantly I had fun. God summer why do you have to leave