July 30th, 2004

♥ __i sew myself shut

(no subject)

If You Leave - Good Charlotte
If you leave, don't leave now
Please don't take my heart away
Promise me just one more night
Then we'll go our separate ways
We always had time on our side
Now it's fading fast
Every second every moment
We've got to--we've gotta make it last

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd still be friends someday

If you leave I won't cry
I won't waste single day
But if you leave no don't look back
I'll be running the other way
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You've got to--you've gotta say you will

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You Always Said We'd Still Be Friends

I touch you once I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price
I need you now like I needed you then
You always said we'd still be friends
Someday (2x)
Oh if you leave
Oh if you leave
Oh if you leave

I hate you so much yet I can't move on without constantly looking back at you. I miss you, Love.
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    sympathetic sympathetic

dear self

dear me,

Promise that you will remember these dates. april 24th, may 22nd, july 3rd, july 18th all in this year. You can not forget them because although you faintly know that they had an effect on the rest of your life you probably won't grasp it until much much later. Remember not to forget those moments that may already seem like a blur. The actions made you who you were and are and that can't be undone. There's no going back now so always remember. Just look at how fast life is moving by and remember that in the majority of those moment's you were at peace. Just remember them. Don't explain them don't over think them just remember. They are you now and although you never expected it you were happy. those dates are probably oly significant in your mind but that's all that matters.

promise to remember promise to live

the girl in the mirror

(no subject)


why won't you answer your phone? why won't you call me back?
do you even know how much i care about you? how much i like you? i dont think that you do. and honestly untill today i don't think i knew either.
you see today, the guy that i have like since first grade asked me to hook up with him. and i said no. in fact, my heart didn't start to race when his little im box popped onto the screen. i didnt even care. i dont like him anymore. not one bit.

and if you don't understand how huge of a deal that is, then let me take this time to explain. i have liked this guy since first grade. that is a long time in case you haven't noticed. 10 whole years. i met him in first grade and we stopped talking in third because he got held back and i didnt. but i never stopped liking him. even when he moved. i went a good two years without seeing him once and i still liked him. he has screwed me over numerous times and it hasn't stopped me from liking him. at one time i even thought that i loved him. but when he talked to me today i felt nothing. in fact, since i met you, i haven't been the least bit attracted to any guy that i have seen. i also saw aleksey today. the guy that i have liked since sixth grade. i no longer hate his girlfriend for stealing him from me. for taking the chance that i should have taken. i dont even care what would of happened if he had picked me over her. it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

if you didn't know before how much i liked you. i hope you do now.
but of course you don't. because you won't answer the phone. and you won't call me back. and even though i'm writing you this letter i know that i'll never have the guts to send it.

i just wish that you would answer your phone. i wish i could at least find out where you are so i can stop wondering and i wish i could know when you'll be back so i could stop calling you 3 times a day.

i wish you didn't live so far away. and i really wish i could talk to you. i have so many questions for you.

what do you want to do about this?

i could very well go a long time, days, weeks, months, without doing anything at all with another guy. today proved that to me. but not to say that i don't trust you but you're a guy. i know how guys are. and i won't blame you if you can't do it. i'm sure that it will kill me. but i'll deal with it. what else can i do.

i miss you.
love always,

(no subject)

you say not to worry baby, but sometimes i cant help but worry. you mean the world to me and sometimes, its just hard to let go. ive grown so close to you, i just dont want to let you go yet. im not ready. please stay with me.
  • Current Mood
    worried worried