This is probably just going to be a rant. But god damn, when I go out with my friends (for example, Caroline or Sabrina or maybe even Alexandrea) I always think of my boyfriend. I can think back now four or five times that I have thought to myself, Would this make him mad? or, No, I can't go out late.. I promised him I wouldn't. What the flying fuck.
My boyfriend promises me that he won't go out, and he'll go straight home. He has to go out for like an hour, he can never just stay home. My boyfriend is so far away from that pill-taking shit ODing and all of that, but he does take some pills sometimes to keep him awake, or something. It's what ADD people (I don't mean to label them but I'm just trying to explain) take to calm them down or whatever. Last night, he had to work from 4 (I think he got there at 430) to 1130, and then he went out till 1. And he went to bed at 5:30 because that shit keeps you awake.
This morning, his mom, him and I were going shopping. And he was in a bad mood ever since he called me to tell me he was coming to pick me up. His mom was talking about how he was up earlier than he even had to be, and she was surprised that he was up. I knew something was up, so after we bought him jeans/shirts we were waiting in line and I looked at him and his pupils were humungous. (When he takes these pills they are either really really tiny, or really huge) So, I look at him in a 'I know something that you are hiding from me' type look and he goes, "Shh.." because obviously do you really want your mom to hear? No.
So, then when we were eating lunch, she said it again how surprised she was that he woke up. He called me from work, we dropped him off at 2, and he's telling me that he didn't go to sleep until 5:30, and he's like "Honestly Cammy, I didn't sleep at all." And I told him to answer me one question, Do you think of me when you take these pills? He said yes. Bullshit.
I told him to let me talk to his boss, (he gives him some of the pills, and another kid at work has ADD or whatever I don't really know the full story) because I want some. I told my boyfriend to tell him that I want 8, and that I'm going to take all of them and I hope I die.
My boyfriend doesn't realize the shit that he takes for granted.
Last time he took them, I was going over to his house that night when he got out of work and I said, do you have something to tell me? And he closed his eyes really tight (meaning he didn't want me to see his pupils) and I didn't even realize them, I wasn't even talking about that. But he promised me that he wouldn't take them again. And I said the next time that you do, I want to take some. They are really strong, so he said he'd give me half of one. I'm not planning to take them, I just want to prove a fucking point. This time around, I don't know what to do anymore.
And then, I'm like.. you going straight home after work? When he got out of the car when we were dropping him off at work, he pinky promised (not that that ever mattered anyway) that he would go straight home. And then he said, "Well I'll be home by 10. I get out of work at 9." What the fuck.
Most of the time, (like last night) him and his friend, Zach and his girlfriend, Tina, just drive around with my boyfriend. And smoke ciggeretes. (Yes, another thing that I'm making my boyfriend quit before I start school) They rode around for about an hour. Two guys and one girl. He claims I'm just insecure, because I don't like him hanging around with just them two. Okay, but when I go to pick you up at work and this kid stares at me, you get freaked all out and threatened to talk to the kid.
He says I bitch all the time, oh yea. I bitch because he smokes pot, (He really actually died down on that topic, he hasn't smoked for a week or something, when he used to live on smoking) takes pills, and doesn't stay home. I can't even remember the last time he stayed home for once. He promised me he would the other night, but he called me 15 minutes after we got off the phone to ask if he could go out. Whatever. He knew I wasn't happy about him going out, he just pretended to hear me happy and fine with it.
But really know, my question is.. Do any of you do this.... "I can think back now four or five times that I have thought to myself, Would this make him mad? or, No, I can't go out late.. I promised him I wouldn't. When you are out with your friends, and you feel like your boyfriend never thinks of that stuff? I'm afraid to say I think my boyfriends a hypocrite.