July 21st, 2004

(no subject)

  • Current Mood
    bitchy bitchy

(no subject)

to you.

i'm sorry for what i said to you last nite.
i was just frustrated with everything.
don't be mad at me. i wish i could act normal for once.
i'm just sorry. i don't know what to do with myself anymore.
i'm trying to be better. i don't wana drive u away =/

  • Current Mood
    confused confused
dark fairy

doifaodinres kjgnsidfovhsoi reosadnfsidbfe


dear whomever this concerns,

things just never seem to go away. no matter what i do something will always be dragging behind me. people don't like to leave things in the past. people don't like to leave things behind. i'm afraid to leave things behind. i don't want to be left behind. my mind is getting ahead of me. i'm thinking faster than i can type. ya know, no matter what i do, it will never be right. i feel bad just writing this. and i probably won't end up even updating it. i just want to cry but i want someone to fall to when that happens. i need someone to be able to fall to.
i don't even know what else to say. i don't even know who to say this to. i don't think i have anyone to say this to. i don't know if i trust anyone enough to say this to.

dear you little bastard,

i fucking trusted you. you used to tell me that no matter what i could talk to you about anything. and then you turned around and told me that all i do is complain and talk for attention. and all i do is want sympathy. i hate you. i hate you with all my heart. and you wonder why i always felt weird talking to people about anything. because i didnt want them to feel bad for me. well, you killed me. and i hope you realize it's making me tear myself apart.
i hope you understand someday,

..'cause you don't see me
and you don't need me
and you don't love me
the way i wish you would
the way i know you could...

  • Current Music
    *You Don't See Me* ::Josie and the Pussycats::

a little piece of me

Lets not sugar coat this, it's not that sweet
My mind restrains my lips from speaking those words no one wants to hear, those words someone has to say.
It's time to kiss goodbye
I'm so close to ripping out my heart.
I'm so close to throwing It in your face.
Where will I be then no better off than I am now alone, afraid, DESENSITIZED.
This is not the first time and I'm sure it's not the last.
This is the one thing I am sure of the one thing I know.
Let me ask you a question do you know whats wrong with me?
Can you give me an answer?
If not then leave me the fuck alone.
Quit playing hero
Honestly these tears are not for you, these tears are for me.
The me inside of me.
The one that no one else sees.
The me I strive to be.
  • Current Music
    Walls Of Jericho

(no subject)

Because of you I can’t breathe
Because of you I can’t leave
Can’t go on
How could one person destroy me so?
Why did I let this happen?
I can’t comprehend my feelings for you
From love to hate
Despite my hate I can’t get myself to leave
The thought scares me
Never being able to see you face
Makes me stop dead in my tracks
And I think “oh god I miss you”