June 22nd, 2004


(no subject)

dear every object on this earth:

there are so many assosiations to stupid little things that make me remember. i hate it. i hate orange juice, i hate avril lavigne, i hate my strawberry lipgloss, i hate my "keep moose on the loose" t-shirt, i hate got milk adds, i hate black converse hightops, i hate guitar picks, i hate stupid dreams, i hate lord of the rings, i hate bad singers, i hate those stupid little desks with the chairs attached, i hate pigs, i hate smartboard pens, i hate old beat-up red cars, i hate that stupid drawing of my face, i hate that last page in my binder, i hate calculator programs, i hate soooo many songs.....and so much more. ill be totally fine, and then all of a sudden, bang, there he is. some stupid memory. some lame joke that has no meaning. some moment that we shared. all things that he would never remember, but that are etched into my brain. what i wouldnt give for them to all just go away.

love, my restless brain.

(no subject)

Dear self,

Hold on to this mood. It's been awhile since you were happy.

Have fun tonight. It's your night out with your best friend (who just got paid). Make the most of it.

Get in trouble, get kicked out of places, flip people off, have FUN!

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(no subject)

Dear you

You'll probly see this but oh well, it doesnt really matter. I do like you as you already know. But really i shouldnt. Too many reasons why. You're my friend and the last thing i want is to lose my friendship wid you. You're a great person to hang out wid and theres just so much out there we still hav to do. I never thought you and i would get along so great. Its been fun so far, i hope i dont do anything to disappoint you. I'm scared i'll do somthing wrong...

Too many times ive put myself in this situation and the outcome wasnt good. My heart's been stabbed too many times...I know you're not the kind that would hurt me or anyone. I dont wana risk anything...if i only knew wats going on in ur mind. Should i just let it go? I hope i find out soon...

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    confused confused