i'll admit it. i miss you. i miss your late night phone calls where we would talk about nothing. or our intimate and emotional conversations. i miss all the fun times we had. i miss all the little things. like when you met me before homeroom you would always brush you finger gentley on the small of my back. and the way you held my hand, always gliding your thumb up and down my hand. or the way you would rub my leg. and just the way you held me.
i miss the way i felt when i was with you. i felt invinsible. and without you i'm so vulnerable.
i haven't talked otyou in over a week and it's killing me. i mean, its only been 8 days, and i'm a wreck. and i know it's not because of you, but you wuodl always make things so much better that i can't help but think if i were talking to you i would be alright.
god i miss you so much.
i hate how your fifty miles away from me. i hate hate hate hate hate it. and i hate how much i care about you and about this and about us. we aren't even together again.
this is so stupid. i shouldn't be feeling this way. not about you. you didn't even say goodbye when you left. hell, you didn't even tell me you were leaving. i found out from my mother. i don't care if you were with whatsherface then, you cared for me still and you always have and you always will.
why do you think time after time you always come back? i just need you here so badly. why can't you come back now? i need to call you. but i have to sleep. i haven't slept in days and when i do i have all these dreams of you.
i'm so pathetic aren't i? i care for you so much and i just need you here with me. i need to be with you and to talk to you and feel like you care. you tell me you do, or you told me you did. but a lot can change in a week. i mean, who knows. you could've met someone else so much better than me (and i know how easy that is).
would you please just call me, please? all these stupid things remind me of you like "pimp my ride" and whatnot. i need you so badly. you might not need me, but i hope you do. i hope you care the way i do.
and i care. beleive me, i do.