woot for accidently deleting a post, and then reposting two seconds later...
(posted twice because i was stupid and didn't mean to delete the first one)
So, these are just things that I wrote down in my journal thing. Some are just small, random thoughts...others mean more.
Breathing is hard
Finding a reason to wake up in the morning is getting even harder.
Living, truly living, means dying.
I need you more than the air in my lungs, and I'm worried that you don't need me anymore than water in yours.
Long nights gazing at the stars alone.
Listening to the sounds of the night and wondering if you ever wonder how I am.
If I'm okay without you here to guide me.
Because I need something
Don't know what
need someone to come and save me from myself.
thoughts overpowering my brain.
can't shut them off
thoughts of you
wondering where you went and why that place had to be away from me.
and i wonder, if you wonder...
because i need something
don't know what
need someone to come and save me from myself
cuz i can't do this alone
do you know?
why am i the one who always ends up waiting? like now, as the cool night breeze blows by, I wait for you once again. Wondering if you're okay. I can hear the train, five miles away and I'm thinking maybe you got on and it took you away. Onto a new life. A new town. New friends. Maybe that's what you want. Maybe that's what you need. Am I holding you back? Holding you back from living your dream?
You're still not here. And do you know how much it hurt when you said you were going away for the summer? Your last summer here...our last summer together before you make that new life for yourself in that new city with those new friends. Forget me, I'm just holding you back from living your big dreams.
And I don't want to be that person who deprives the world of your ideas, your passion to be the best, your happiness that you spread without even knowing it.
Another car passes by
And i think it's you but i don't know why.
once again, i find myself waiting.
But i'd wait forever for you.
Just to see you one last time before you go.
I have a feeling that you're not coming once again.
The suspicions and fears rise with every gentle blow of the summer wind through the leaves.
But if summer's here, then why does it feel like autumn?
Watching yourself falling.
Can't stop yourself as you crash on your bed.
Feeling your self drowning.
Can't stop these thoughts from passing through your head.
Yep, that's it. Some were fueled by different songs i've been listening to. I didn't mean for them to sound all, ooo, i loooovvvveeee you like that...becuase i don't...just friends...sisters even...gah...rambling...sorry