Remember when we first met, that day was so amazing. When I looked at you, and your eye caught mine, I knew we had something. Our first date was incredible. You made me feel so safe, so wanted. The entire time we dated I felt like there was no possible way I could get enough of you. Even when we spent the entire weekend together, and we'd fall asleep in each others arms, wake up to one another's kiss, it wasn't enough for me. How selfish, I know. I remember when we had to go two weeks without seeing each other. Do you remember that? It was right after our big fight. We made up just hours after that, but you had to away for Christmas. Not seeing you made me so depressed, I thought I'd never make it. I made myself sick over it. Then when you called me on my birthday, on the first of January, I immediately knew I'd be ok.
When I heard that you were interested in another girl...
I was speechless. I thought I would be your only girl. Three nights in a row I cried myself to sleep because I didn't want to see you with anyone but me. I didnt want to see myself with anyone but you.
I remember it was a Tuesday night. I couldnt sleep. All I thought about was you. I wrote you a letter. I never gave it to you. Instead you called me, and thats where you said those words that I dreaded you would say.
"I'm breaking up with you."
How could you do that? How could you do that to me, to you, to us? I thought when you said ''forever'', you meant ''forever''. I guess not. Well that's alright. Life wasn't too great after you left. I'd see you in the halls after lunch, on my way to Spanish. I never told you this, but I didn't have to go down that hall, the same hall your class was in. I could have gone straight to Spanish. But nope, I just had to see you, every day. Whenever you waved to me, or said hi to me, My heart skipped a beat. I lived for the moments where you'd see me and say something. Anything. Just knowing I was acknowledged by you made my whole day brighten.
I can't believe you fell for Teri. Who could? How could YOU? When you told me that, I refused to believe it. When I found out she was leading you on, I was so happy. I'm not going to lie and say I felt bad. I didnt. I was happy. I wanted you to hurt the same way you hurt me. Even though you hurt me, I still hoped for a chance with you.
The day you left school to move to your new school was the worst day. I thought you were staying two more weeks. When Ashley told me it was your last day, I thought I would cry. Remember when you sang "One More Day" to me? I repeated the lyrics over and over again.
"One more day,
one more time
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still
For one more day
I never liked country much, I know you did. But I didnt. Its ok. That song made me sad. When I saw you for the last time, you smiled at me. I tried to smile back, but the muscles that helped me smile those days we were together weren't working at that moment, so I couldnt. I planned to see you after school so that I could say good bye to you. When I didn't see you, I figured you had already left. On the bus on the ride home I cried. I tried not to , but how could I not? It was so miserable without you at school. You have no idea.
As time went on, things got a little easier. I started thinking less of you, more of others. There was always one moment of each day that you crossed my mind. I thought of your family. I love your family. You really have no idea. They were so nice to me. They treated me well. Even though you always confined in me and told me about the fights your family has, i still loved them. Especially Derek. he was so cute. He reminds me so much of you.
Eventually I began to date again. I dated your best friend. Man that didn't work out at all. He reminded me of you, because thats how I met him. When him and I talked about old times, you were always mentioned. He's nothing like you though. He never had your kiss, your touch. That's what I needed.
Dating became a struggle, and I was missing you all over again. There were so many times I'd be wishing you'd come back to school, so I could see you every day. Even if we never dated. I just wanted to see you.
On May 25th, I talked to you. For the first time since you moved in February. You told me to meet you up at the school at the choir concert. I said I would. So I did. I didn't see you. I was upset and I thought maybe God intended this. I was about to leave. But I heard you laugh. When I turned to look, there you were. Your hair got longer, and your voice got deeper. You looked amazing.
We spent 20 minutes together, a wonderful 20 minutes. Then you told me you were coming back to Anchor Bay. I couldn't believe it.
You came back to my house that night so we could catch up a bit. It was nice. You filled me in on your life, and you told me how much you hate school. I still couldnt' believe you were coming back to school in the fall.
Then you looked me in the eyes and told me how much you miss me. How much you wish you never broke up with me. How much you still love me, and how I'm always on your mind even though we broke up so long ago. Then. you kissed me. I kissed you back.
You spent the night at my house the following Friday. That was cool. I was happy. We talked alot. You said how much you want to be with me. I said I missed you. I did.
When you left early the next day, I shut the door behind you. And I felt disappointed. I also felt relief.
I am over you.
I no longer need you or the memories of you to keep me happy. I can be happy on my own. I'm ok now. I'm not dependent on you.
I like having you in my life, as a friend.
I want you in my life, as a friend.
I need you in my life, as a friend.
But I dont need you in my life, as anything more.
I hope we stay friends for as long as we can. Your a great guy. I hope you come back to school. I really do. Anchor Bay High misses you. You belong there.
Love your friend,