thank you very much for being my friend all these years, you know i have had fun while it lasted.
but recently you have been too good (i guess..) to hang out with me. Ever since you have been going out with your boyfriend i am just not important to you anymore. You are just too consumed in this little insecure bubble you are living in. so much for being best friends. i dont know what to say to you anymore..
I havent seen you for a while which is good. I really cant stand it wen ur around. I mean, ur a complete jerk and a liar, and you should know you are. A lot of things came from ur mouth that were all lies. Yeah sure, you're talking to me. Ha, we're still friends. Do me a favour, wen you make promises to a person, keep them. Dont be such an arse. I know bak then you were a loser to a lot of ppl. You may be accepted by many now but that doesnt mean you can become shallow and such a dick head. Yeah, ur a year older than us. So how about acting like you are? You're so immature. You claim to hav done a lot of things that are cool and "mature" but think about it, you need to grow up and need to get rid of ur annoying habits. Do us a favour, dig a hole and see how far you can get. I cant stand you and sometimes i wish you weren't here. Till the day we leave school, i'm never gona learn to appreciate ur existence.
We still haven't talked. What's going on? I thought we were friends. Why are you being like this?
You're such a hypocrite. You go away for a few minutes for a ciggarette, but when I mention that I'm about to go have one, you flip out on me. You don't want me to drink or smoke or do anything, yet you're the one always talking about how fucked up you got last weekend.
I'm listening to The Postal Service. I'm rereading your letter to me. I'm staring at your picture.
I've definitely spent all year staring at you. But it wasn't so bad until last week, after I saw your band play. Seeing you playing with so much passion and singing with that deep voice, I could barely contain myself. It was all just...awesome, for lack of a better term. You're completely hot beyond reason. That kind of heart-fluttery, holy-shit-throw-me-against-a-locker-and-make-out-with-me kind of hot.
But I digress.
I just want to apologize for being creepy. Because, God knows, I probably was...seeing as I approached you to tell you, with jittery hands and red cheeks, that I thought your band was "totally awesome" and then seemed to see you about 12 times a day every day after that. I...yeah. And Andy telling you a few times that I call you "Totally Hot Tim" probably didn't help either and...well, there are other things, but naming them just makes me sad and weird.
I wish I could have spoken you outside of my tragically lame "totally awesome". And I wish I could have really given you this to affirm that I really am a nice, completely not-stalkery-girl and that I'm really NOT obessesed with you...but I figured somehow, with my mixed up logic, that this would only weird you out more. But it's too late, I guess.
So...sorry that I was weird and ugly and awkward and creepy. I didn't mean to freak you out.
To you, Gahhhhhhhh. Once again you're like perfect but ohhhhhhhh you don't like me at all. I wish you would just quit being so nice. Like everytime I get over you there you are again making me feel better when I'm upset and making me fall for you again. I want to be over you. I want you to go away. I need someone new but I still feel attached. Ugh. Sometimes I hate you. But most of the time..in secret...I think I love you.
To the unnamed boy that i cannot get out of my mind,
I wish i talked to you when i saw you perform, You are so adorable. And I thought for a second that you saw me gazing at you, and i wished that i said something after you played. But I was too nervous. I should have said something to you, beautiful you. I don't even know your name. But i cannot get you out of my mind.