June 3rd, 2004

(no subject)


i sat on brads lap today in graphics. and i feel horrible right now. i didnt even realize that it was wrong at the time. it wasnt sexual at all. there were no chairs left and i just sat on his knee. but i started thinking about how much i like you and how i would feel if i walked into your class and saw a girl in your lap. i would feel awful. like sumone just stabbed me. i know we just started going out but in a strange way i feel like we belong together. you make me so happy. and what happened today, if it had happened when i was going out with any of my old boyfriends, i wouldnt have thought twice about it. but now ive got this guilty feeling and it just wont go away. because i dont want to lose you. i would feel like someone just gave me the best thing ive ever had and then took it right back. youre so incredibly amazing. wen im in your arms i just feel right.

these words keep running through my head and i know they cant be true but i just cant stop them.
i love you
i love you
i know i cant possibly love you already. but i cant help thinking that. when im with you i feel so happy. so..at peace. that sounds dumb but its the only thing i can think of to describe it. and when im not with you, youre the only thing i can think about.i actually count down the minutes untill i can be with you again.
and your kisses. they are amazing. better then any other kiss ive ever felt. its like i can feel them throughout my whole body.

i know ill never have the courage to send this to you. so why am i writing it? i wish i could ask you. you always know what to say to make me feel better.

<3 nicole
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(no subject)

mommynazi and daddybitch,

get a fucking life so you don't have to ruin mine. and step off your abstinence/no kissing on your bed/you're too young for such a long relationship high horse before i shoot your fucking knees off. i hate you. I HATE YOU.

fuck you,