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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
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Tuesday, May 25th, 2004

Time Event
Dear You
Why did you stop talking to me suddenly? I don't know sometimes I think you are just a friend but sometimes I keep thinking about you and I expect you to be always just listen to me but noone else. I kinda started missing you and I soo want to talk to you...but talk to you about what? I don't know I'm totally lost.....

Current Mood: bored
dear you,

i used to think about you a lot.

a lot, a lot.

but you're a catastrophe.

and summers here and im not going to fuckin miss you.


Current Mood: content
Dear Aiiry,
You hurt me so bad when you told me you never cared about me for those 9 years that we were friends. I gave you myself, I let you in. I never let anyone in, I told you things I couldn't tell myself. Aiiry, why did you hurt me so much?

"Glad I didn’t die before I met you
Now I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy." -Bright Eyes

Aiiry, I still love you more than anyone. You'll always have me...I could go to Africa with you and get bit by a poisionus ant and only have three days to live, and I wouldn't care as long as you were with me for those three days. Telling me that you loved me, telling me you were there.
I remember the last day I was in Connecticut before I moved to Florida. You picked me up in your car, and we drove around. You drove me to Putnum Park, and we hiked to this beautiful spot. You held my hand the whole way up, and I felt safe. When we got to the spot where you wanted us to be, you turned to me and said with the most sincere look I've ever seen, "I love you." You told me you loved me, and you hugged me and held me close. As I was breathing you in, I started to cry, and you just held me. You kissed me, and you held me with tenderness. Where did that go? Where did our love go? I love you still, and I always will. I gave you me, and you gave me you. But you took it back. So I guess, when you're ready to love me again, I'll be here. I love you, Aiiry. I love you, so much. I should stop this, since I know you'll never read it.

Love for you, always,
2 ||x
to my Robert -

Conor Oberst put it perfectly:

"I'm sorry about the phone call &needing you. Some decisions you don't make."

my ♥ always,

Current Mood: confused
Dear Grandmom
sorry i cant get you out of my head..it pisses me off...all i can see is being stuck in a wheel chair..it killed me...i hear all the times that you just wanted to die...if it were my choice i would of let you...you went through soo much shit in your life why the hell do your own daughters had to make you suffer...everytime i saw you i would get home and cry the rest of the night because i knew it wasnt right you looked miserable and dead. it wasnt fair and it made me sick to my stomach that they let that happen and i have to say im incredibly fucking sorry i didnt see as much as i did and i didnt get to say goodbye i was just saying i love you and that is all that matters and im sorry for every little that i fuck up

Current Mood: annoyed
brace yourselves, this could be long.

so we're speaking again. it's weird. i'm being the self centered ex-girlfriend again. you're over me. that's cool.

do you ever miss me?

You. yea, you... there to the right
i don't even know you... why am i thinking about you so much? why don't you ever make eye contact with me? it's cool, she deserves this more than i do... problem is, you don't think so.

dont hurt her...
or me...

yea... i'm not upset... really. why'd you have to go and fuck things up? what was so wrong with us?


I know people in here do read poems and i've been playing with a style called "Pantoum" as well as overly emoting as always. I put most of them under cuts to keep you from having to scroll past.

The Screen
Moonlight filtered through a screen
Placed with intent of separation and to protect
Used to sift from air the silver unseen
Normally too subtle to detect.
...*Collapse )

"If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take"
She prays on bended knees and painted lips
at evenings end, worn inside out, beginning to shake
knowing nothing helps, no tossing hair or swiveling hips
...*Collapse )
2 ||x

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