May 20th, 2004
what a waste of my summer.
i didn't want you to think i wanted her sex...
thanks. i appreciate it. but you're a year too late. and i'm a care too short. so thanks for wasting my summer. my feelings. my heart. my thoughts. i appreciate everything you ever did for me. yeah. don't trust a boy. even though i did again. just have the satisfaction knowing that you were the first....
i'm glad you got it off your chest, kid. even though if you had gotten your balls up to tell me. i wouldn't have believed you. and it wouldn't matter if i did or not. i would have still acted as bitchy as i did. screaming from the back about how you can't act like i'm naive and won't find out.
i always find out...
thanks for letting me know that you consented the kissing. and everything else you ever did to me. it really puts my mind at ease, kyle.
I can barely breathe.
im not suppose to like you. i liked you before, could you tell? well guess what..? i like you again. its bad. my friend is in LOVE with you. but i liked you WAYYYY before her. i liked you now. im not going to let this get too far, knowing youll never like me. but i still feel something. i hate hanging out/talking with you, because then i began to feel something for you. your me, but a BOY. argg. i shouldnt be feeling this.
dont worry if you dont feel the same. ill move on.
I'm scared, I really fucking am. I don't know how to act around you anymore. Yes, I do have feelings for you. I just realized it. It scares me. I know that nothing will ever happen between us cause you're Nate's friend and I guess, you'll always think of me as his. I wish it could be something else. He's moved on and so have I. It hurts sometimes. I miss you. I hope nothing will be awkward. I hope we'll always be friends. I had a dream about you. We were together and I just blew you off. I knew it hurt you but I didn't care. Dreams are... scary. I woke up really depressed. Oh Rc. I just don't know anymore.
"Love is in the air. Blinding me with smoke.You're the air I breathe. When I choke. Insects in your kiss. So breathless. Captured my heart. Goodies in the basket. Stuttering the way I love you honey.