there is no particular reason
just a moment in my bliss
that moment trapped in others
iv'e forgotten your kiss
i forgot what you saw in me
or why you saw it at all
iv'e forgotten all my happiness
and then i began to fall
though i still remember
the look upon your face
refusing now to look in my eyes
good feelings are replaced
instead of smiling endlessly
its much easier to frown
falling now much faster
my world's turned upside down
remembering that simple look
of soft and loving eyes
only hurts me even more
and you refuse to hear my cries
seeing you now every day
sickens my woeful heart
and you can't not look at her
yet again i fall apart
remember that i love you
if you remember anything at all
never forget my devotion
on hands and knees i crawl
over any given obstacle
any chance i'll take
i will give you everything
as my heart still slowly breaks
dav, within myself i've found no mercy, no happiness, no support, no feeling. i gave it all to you. and i still hurt myself, no matter what you say, you will never know how bad it hurts to have you not even look at me anymore, to have you "love her". do you even remember how happy we were?
do you remember what it was that compelled you to hold me? to kiss me? to even feel my eyes and to gaze back?
your gaze was like heaven, your eyes were like breathing in all the love you posessed, and it was mine. you still take my breath away, you still keep me alive.
with the dark silence that you left me in the one thing that keeps me going is the sound of your laugh, the way you look at me when she is mentioned. its like you actually care, you don't want to hurt me anymore, just as i want to be free.
hear me now, i love every part of you and somewhere inside i know you still feel for me and you can't even hold my gaze because deep inside you know i will catch you again. you know that there is a flame still burning.
i love you,
i know that you love to annoy me, i know that you love to see me full of pain, staring at the back of his head like he is everything. and yet again i am the one in the way, but its okay, just call me the clumsy one and soak up all the glory. take everything including his attention. i still can't get over that you fed him that shit so that we would break-up. you call yourself my friend, well i can't stand it, i can't stand that you stay the pretty one, that your the smart one, that your the one who took my ideas and used them for yourself.
that you always liked the guys i did and couldnt let it go long enough to think about anyone but yourself, your the one who flirts non-stop with them so that "you win"
don't you realize that your lucky to have me not scream at you like any sane person would. you have a shitty day and it all gets blamed on me. well shut up for once and just think about what your going to say because you don't realize how your words have an impression on people.
i hate you, you betray me, drag me through the dirt, and just when i feel okay and i laugh if only a little you find a way to make things absolutly unbearable. and yet your the only one i ever have that understands me. that comforts me when i need it, that i ever let see me cry. everyone else has never seen ME, heard what i have to say. underneath my annoying attention seeking girl there is a blubbering idiot. someone who is extremely co-dependant and cries every night because she thinks she has it bad. and i wonder why i feel like shit all the time.
well than, that wasnt so bad... Current Mood: crappy