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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Tuesday, May 11th, 2004

Time Event
1:08a
Jerry,

I'm disappointed because I no longer have an excuse to think about you.

Love, Mic

Current Mood: scared
x
9:00a
Given to a girl... written by a boy...
Dear Justin.
You sit at the table across from me at lunch, I've never talked to you before. But there is just something so amazing about you, that I can't take my eyes off of. I want the courage to go up and say something, but it will never happen. We're graduating in 31 days and I know I'll never see you again. I just wish you knew that I think about you every day... and wish that we could talk, just once. Good luck in life <3

Kel.

Current Mood: hopeful
1 ||x
3:51p

Dear that annoying girl in all my core classes and photography class,

You are the most annoying person I think I've ever met.  Let's cut right to the chase, shall we?

You annoy me and others because:

  • You always have to be right, even if that means correcting teachers(every class) or just being a bitch.
  • You whine and moan about how I didn't get you a birthday present...I don't even like you for crying out loud!
  • The way you always have to one-up me and others.  Why can't you accept the fact that some people are going to be better at things than you?
  • The fact that Natalie hangs around you all the time like you're her queen...and you expect that of her!  geez!
  • And last, but not least...you think everyone absolutley adores you.  ALMOST NO ONE LIKES YOU!

So, stop being a whiny little biotch, and get on with life.

-The girl in front of you in math who tells you to shut the hell up under her breath.

1 ||x
4:07p
Damn you Spanish teacher
dear miss hall,
are you on speed? everyday i come to class and you are bouncing off the walls...you tell us all your problems, and hit us with hackey sack balls. one day, im going to throw the ball at your head, then everything wont be so funny will it? no i dont think so. you wander why im failing? because i HATE your class...why didnt we have a party for cinco de mayo...OH RIGHT you said its because we watched a movie...well lets see, which one is better...a party or a movie i've seen a million times? WRONG! its the party!...no Miss hall we do not care that you lived in mexico, we do not care that you had to work 2 jobs, we do not care that freddy mercury says "for where to go" in bohemian rhapsody, we do not care about home remidies when your sick, we do not care what your grandma wrapped you up in when you were sick as a child... WE JUST DONT CARE, every day, me and shaun discuss our hatred for your class...im sorry.
-blondie-

Current Mood: apathetic
2 ||x
5:11p
********* and ******
Dear ******,
how could you kiss her? what were you thinking..i know i know that you like her of whatever..but she isnt good enuf 4 you..and besides i like you..

Dear *********,
how could you? how could you kiss him? what were you thinking? were you thinking? ********* you hurt connor so much..over something so stupid. you cant even go out with ******, so wtf. you can be such a hypocrite sometimes! no good christian..CATHOLIC, would CHEAT of there boyfriend..and its happened basically twice since i have known you..i am glad you cant date ******! he and conor both deserve better then you. ********* i love you so much, but seriously--WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? i feel so bad for conor..i feel like you have hurt me..and so many other people with your lies..and conor just got the worst of it..i hate you for this..but i forgive..b/c Jesus forgives you..but UGH!!


-Kels
(x-posted)

Current Mood: annoyed
x
8:12p
notes
there is no particular reason
just a moment in my bliss
that moment trapped in others
iv'e forgotten your kiss
i forgot what you saw in me
or why you saw it at all
iv'e forgotten all my happiness
and then i began to fall
though i still remember
the look upon your face
refusing now to look in my eyes
good feelings are replaced
instead of smiling endlessly
its much easier to frown
falling now much faster
my world's turned upside down
remembering that simple look
of soft and loving eyes
only hurts me even more
and you refuse to hear my cries
seeing you now every day
sickens my woeful heart
and you can't not look at her
yet again i fall apart
remember that i love you
if you remember anything at all
never forget my devotion
on hands and knees i crawl
over any given obstacle
any chance i'll take
i will give you everything
as my heart still slowly breaks

dav, within myself i've found no mercy, no happiness, no support, no feeling. i gave it all to you. and i still hurt myself, no matter what you say, you will never know how bad it hurts to have you not even look at me anymore, to have you "love her". do you even remember how happy we were?
do you remember what it was that compelled you to hold me? to kiss me? to even feel my eyes and to gaze back?

your gaze was like heaven, your eyes were like breathing in all the love you posessed, and it was mine. you still take my breath away, you still keep me alive.
with the dark silence that you left me in the one thing that keeps me going is the sound of your laugh, the way you look at me when she is mentioned. its like you actually care, you don't want to hurt me anymore, just as i want to be free.

hear me now, i love every part of you and somewhere inside i know you still feel for me and you can't even hold my gaze because deep inside you know i will catch you again. you know that there is a flame still burning.

i love you,

zoel


becca,
i know that you love to annoy me, i know that you love to see me full of pain, staring at the back of his head like he is everything. and yet again i am the one in the way, but its okay, just call me the clumsy one and soak up all the glory. take everything including his attention. i still can't get over that you fed him that shit so that we would break-up. you call yourself my friend, well i can't stand it, i can't stand that you stay the pretty one, that your the smart one, that your the one who took my ideas and used them for yourself.
that you always liked the guys i did and couldnt let it go long enough to think about anyone but yourself, your the one who flirts non-stop with them so that "you win"

ziggz



mom,
don't you realize that your lucky to have me not scream at you like any sane person would. you have a shitty day and it all gets blamed on me. well shut up for once and just think about what your going to say because you don't realize how your words have an impression on people.

zoey


dear me,
i hate you, you betray me, drag me through the dirt, and just when i feel okay and i laugh if only a little you find a way to make things absolutly unbearable. and yet your the only one i ever have that understands me. that comforts me when i need it, that i ever let see me cry. everyone else has never seen ME, heard what i have to say. underneath my annoying attention seeking girl there is a blubbering idiot. someone who is extremely co-dependant and cries every night because she thinks she has it bad. and i wonder why i feel like shit all the time.


zoey


well than, that wasnt so bad...

Current Mood: crappy
x
8:54p
Mrs. Lane -

I apreciate you. I really do. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have my job. And you were a great intro-to-marketing teacher.

BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? You make no sense now and the only reason I have been able to do anything this year was because I took Intro last year. You bitch about us students behind our backs, and none too subtlely either; there's always at least one of us around when you do it. Why do think no one bothers respecting you or listening to you anymore. You teach us nothing and then complain that we don't pay attention. If there was something to pay attention to then we would. You say things once without specifying the directions, then when we ask questions you either say it the exact same way we didn't understand in the first place or yell at us.

The other day I went into Mrs. Browning's office to see if she had the worksheet I was missing for your class, my hands clenched and my voice timid, wanting her to help because I didn't want to have to ask you. She assured me that it would be fine to go ask you, that it wouldn't be an issue, and I stupidly believed her.

You yelled at me Mrs. Lane.
You yelled at me because of all of you own personal stress. I see that, and it is not fitting for a teacher to do those sort of things. The last teacher I had that did that got in trouble for threatening a student! Mrs. Lane, I appreciate what you have done for me, but I am doing everything within my own power not to want to cry and scream at you. You are one of the few people who frustrates me into saying exactly what I mean. The only other person that does that to me is a mentally unsound junior from a disgruntled home life and with him it's because I care when I'm frustrated. With you, I just want to give up.

Last year I campaigned for you so you'd have a job. Now I'm telling people not to take your classes. I really do hope something shakes you out of your selfishness.

Get some Therapy Mrs. Lane. Please
x
9:13p
La...
Well im new here and yeah. I wish that one day i could walk into school and not have to fake a smile and not have to pretend to like people that i really truly hate. But oh well yeah i wrote a poem cuz i was upset about this one girl so i guess i will just post it on here(my letters are poems)

do you do it for attention
so everyone can see
do u want it to be mentioned
so u can say everyone feels bad for me
you act like its funny
when its very serious
almost like u did it for money
maybe im just delirious
you tell everyone when u did it
each hour, each day, and why
everyone tells u to quit it
but u just let out a soft sigh
Im sick of watching you
trying to feel bad
these feeling u have arent true
and that makes it o so sad
but in the end all u need is just one kid
to find the scars upon ur wrists
and tell the teacher what u did
first you get sent to a Looney bin
with people just as starving as you
they will try to put u down they wont let you win
this so not something you want to go thru
but as the days go by
and ur stuck with nothing at all
remember this poem and remember why
you chose to take this fall

Current Mood: blank
2 ||x
10:23p
my first letter....
So here it is....
I can't be your friend. I just can't. What are we supposed to do? Where are we supposed to go from here? Wht cany ou say to make it better?
Nothing...you just don't get it either. To you, it was nothing, you don't even care. And the pain wasn't just physical...and it wasn't an accident...no matter what you say.
It isn't fair. Anything, because despite you being the asshole and you being the one who was a jerk, you still get to be happy after all of this.
Ugh! Screw you! I don't want to be your friend at all. I don't want to give you that satisfaction! you know what...
you just make me sick....:(
bye.

Current Mood: bitchy
x

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