You really upset me today. I thought we had ended the idea that my music is your music, I thought you were mature enough to realize that it's not, but today proved otherwise.
It always bothered me when you would start playing my solo piece along with me. It would have been one thing if it was a school song, but it wasn't, and you really had no right to play it then. It also bothered me when you would take my music off my stand to play it. Even if it wasn't what I was playing at that time, it was still my music.
( The thing I hate the most, though, is when you play stuff out of my book.Collapse )
I thought things were okay between us, and I thought we were friends, but you still treat me as if I'm yours to do what you want with. My music is my music, not yours, and it never will be yours. Grow up and learn some etiquette and maybe some manners. You're going to fail as a music teacher unless you do.
Yesterday I waited after school until I had to leave to see if you would come online. I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out, because from what I've got to know of you I like you, and I'd like to spend some time with you. I know you were out with friends, but the fact that Jamee was among them made me really upset. It's not your fault, but I felt as if you betrayed me, although I'm not being fair to you because you don't know anything about Jamee and my relationship.
The real issue here is that I feel that ever since you found out I'm a sophomore and that I have a boyfriend you've avoided me. Before you knew about Matt you would IM me, and we'd talk all night until I was too tired to see the screen. Now, I felt like since I'm "taken" you don't want to talk to me at all anymore. Maybe this isn't the case, but it seems like it, and I don't think that's fair to me.
Now I'm afraid that Jamee, being the two-faced person she is, told you a lot of crap about me. I'd like to let you in on a little secret, we hate each other. She talks crap about me, and me about her. The thing is, most of what I say is true. Even her friends say she's spoiled, because she is. She likes attention, and gets mad when someone else gets more than her. She has a new boyfriend or crush every other week, and complains too much about them.
This is a side of me you've never seen before. I can be immature, and ignorant, and selfish; but I realize it. I think this problem is more me than you, but I thought you could understand me... that's why I'm writing this. I know that I can be these things, and that's what makes me mature. Rather than writing this in my LJ and starting a fuss, I'm ranting here. Maybe I'll send this to you, or maybe if we ever talk again I'll just tell you - the adult way. But either way, I see myself as a better person than Jamee, and quite frankly, I'm jealous that you spent time with her and not me.