I love you. I really do. But I can't change the way you are, no matter how hard I try.
I can't talk to you like I wish I could. And I know that you care about me so much, but please, let me breathe! Every time I say anything that could possibly be seen in a negative light (ie: "I'm not feeling well today...") you get so paranoid and think it's your fault that my day isn't perfect. Life isn't meant to be perfect. And I don't want life to be perfect. I want to have experienced both the good and the bad. So please stop trying to protect me from it all.
Every other sentence that comes from your mouth is "I miss you." "I'm sorry." "Are you ok??" I know you love me and want to be with me 24/7. And I miss you too. But we're only teens- we're not meant to be together all the time. Please, realize that I'm not angry with you if I don't respond when you say you miss me for the 40th time. I've started to get very annoyed with you saying "I'm sorry" all the time, too. You say that 'guys always do stupid things and don't realize it', and that it's just your way of making sure you're covering all the bases. But that phrase gets really worn out. You say it, but it doesn't mean anything any more. If you're truly sorry, say it. But don't pepper every paragraph with "I'm sorry, please forgive me!" when there's NOTHING WRONG.
Yes, dear. I am fine. No, nothing's wrong. Please stop asking me if I'm ok, when the only response you'll accept is "I'm ok, really." Sweetie, you need to understand that I'm NOT ok sometimes, but that's normal. You need to actually look at me, see if I've got a frown or a smile on my face, before asking me this. I've grown so accustomed to saying "uh huh. I'm ok." that you will never know how I truly feel, for fear that you will totally panic like you do.
I love you. But this is grating on me... I don't know how much longer I can take it.
And to all of YOU:
Please, please stop. I know you think it's just grand that he's almost 3 years older than me. You call him a pedophile. You say that I'm just in it because he's in college. Because I had leading-man syndrome. You laugh at me. But do you really think I would have dedicated a year and a half of my high school life to someone who wasn't worth it? And YOU. I hate you for what you've done to me. I hate how I can't be myself around you, say anything about him around you, for fear that you'll make more of those stupid 'jokes' about turning him into the police. I can't even hold his hand around you without you snarling at us, telling us to 'stop making babies and pay attention.' I've always been known as 'the innocent one', and you need to go embarrass me like that, in front of the whole theatre guild? Directors are supposed to direct, not insult and shame the people who keep his salary coming. I would NEVER do something like that, and you know it. But that's what made it so funny for you, isn't it? You knew I would just hang my head, and sit down quietly, say 'yes, sir', and never speak of it again. You know me too well. You know I don't retaliate.
And YOU. I know you feel sorry for what you've said. But it hurt. A LOT. Family is supposed to support each other. I know that you've had some pretty bad experiences with love in the past. But that doesn't mean that every love will die. And I really don't appreciate you assuming that I will break up with him asap. You don't need to read the stats to me. I know that the majority of teen relationships don't last past graduation. But do you need to rub it in my face? I'm just trying to make this an enjoyable experience, and hope for the best. You don't want me to hope, do you?
As for the rest of you... please. I know that 3 years is a big age gap for people our age. You don't need to point that out. I just wish you would be happy for us, rather than bag on us all the time. Thanks.