hey im new here. so yeah, i'll start off with a letter.
Dear ( ),
"I thought this walk might sober me", but instead it only brought back your smile and your eyes. "I thought this walk might sober me". but instead i just got high off of remembering you- the way you kept asking me if i was sure I didn't want a ride. Yeah i was sure, sure that i would've taken it in a second. But i just couldn't let myself say that. But if this walk hasn't "sobered" me, then what has it done? Left an image of you burned in my eyes like i was staring at the sun for too long? Left me in an intoxicated state until i see you next? exactly.
Dear You, I'm not mad at you for not calling, just a little pissed off. Espically sense I reminded you about 5 times! Well Igonoring you for one day is it enough. I really wish you wouldn't cut anymore. You promised him you wouldn't, part of me wants to tell him, the other part knows I can't. I scared the shit out of myslef the other day. I was cutting something up and when I went to pu the knife away I found myself drawing it closer to my wrist. It was one of those really sharp ones to. I'm going to stop. I won't do it anymore and nethier should you. Because I love him and I don't want to make him worry or unhappy. Anyways what I wanted to tell you on the phone is, what alli spred around about me is true. I don't really wan't a girl firned becuase girls are to catty. I seriously couldn't date a girl. But the fun to flirt with kiss and drool over. If kissed girls before yes. Lauren and her firend Allison. That was when I first figured it out obivously. Maybe it's jsut a faze or maybe I really am who knows. But don't worry I don't like you, and even if I did I wouldn't hit on you becuase I know your not like that. Well thats all for now.
It's been 7+ years since I fell in love with you. Since we broke up, you have had many successes and I, many failures. I don't know if I ever envisioned you getting married, but I certainly didn't expect to feel such a confusion of feelings after finding out you married someone else. I didn't expect us to get back together, but I have this memory of us, and in the memory we were It and we thought we would marry each other. Eventually that changed and we moved on, as we should have. But I still have your love letters and pictures in a box on my dresser. Am I supposed to throw them out now? I feel like they don't belong to me. The present is itching to erase the past while logic tells me it all should coexist peacefully. I'm getting old and I'm stuck. What's the trick? I wish I knew which way the right direction was.