March 17th, 2004

audrey2

Resistence...

My darling, 6 months of resistence yet you say your irrisitable. Well, if you are, why have i still not come over? Why is it all talk and why do you say i blow you off? I know that i'm not the only one. I know that every day when i tell you so much about myself and let you into a place in my mind where i don't allow anybody. Why does something that petty have to rule an importance in your life? When i asked you if you used girls... all you said is "For what?" and laughed. And then said that mutual understandings in the type of relationships you have with girls, and yes that may be true but you are still using them. You are using their bodies, you are using their minds. Usage my dear is a two way street and i have told you this before but that still does not make it any different. I doesn't make me talking to you any easier and it doesn't make falling any harder. Why do you have to be so sweet, why do you have to appear so perfect to everyone? Because your not or maybe you are but i don't know how to trust you. You have hurt too many and lied to too many. I wish that all of this was just easier, i wish that you didnt put this in front of me. I hope that i have the control to say no because i'm losing my ideals because of you. The ideals that i have went by stricly for the last 16 years. I just wish that you weren't well, you....
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