Do you even know what I'm feeling. No, You don't. You're all caught up in the world of boys. Because after all, the male race is obviously more important than me. You're, so called, best friend. But I can't put up with this much longer. It's killing me. And You don't know it. I'm ready to die. I think I want to die. But You don't know it. Aren't You supposed to know these things? Sense them?
One half of me says, I'm better off without You. That way I won't have to be constantly thinking of You. I won't have to put up with all this talk about guys.
But the other half thinks, I should be there. I have
to be there for You. Because You've been through so much. And I want "us" to be okay. I still want to be Your best friend. Because I love You. No matter what.
But, the question is, do You want to be my best friend? Do You love me?
And, speaking of love...how can You say You love all these boys? Am I the only one who knows what love really is?
LOVE IS HELL
I thought You would have noticed by now. But no, you don't. You can't. Because You're blind. Fucking blind.
Because I'm dying right in front of Your face. And You don't know. How can You not know?? I think a couple people are catching on to it though. Not You. Never You.
I lie about being okay. About being fine. I'm tired, is my main excuse for acting the way I have been. And, although that's true, it's not the main reason. You are. The way we've been acting towards each other. I'm losing sleep. I lay down at night, and even though I feel exhausted, I can't sleep. I just lay there with my eyes shut and my mind keeps going. Making up stories and what I might say to You to open Your eyes. But I never go through with them. So, this is a nice way to get it out.
And that's about it. There's not much more to say except that I miss You. And I can't help it.