February 10th, 2004


(no subject)

sometimes i think im going insane but then people remind me i am only human i wish i could remind myself of that but you know what im not sure that i am human at all really i love my friends and most of my family but theyre killing me so many people don’t deserve the gift of life they offend me with their careless grasp of the arts &trustwothings so easily broken &so difficult to prove i want to trust him but i just cant do it why cant i do it its her &him &all those people who killed me inside its their fault not mine this is what its like to be alone i guess this is what its like to be alone for real &i wish those memories would burn like gasoline but they’ll be forever with me
  • Current Music
    Incubus - Warning
credit to slumbering_love

i'm so mad at you


you ditched us. you completely ditched us. maybe it isn't that big of a deal to gina. but it is to me. i like you. a lot. more than i could possibley say. and you know that. and as far as i hear, you like me too. but you have a girlfriend. and i hate it. i was so happy. you practically begged me to call you because you wanted to hang out tonight. and you ditched us. but most of all. you ditched me. you let me down. i was so happy. hapy that i was leaving my house. getting away from it all. my family. my father. but better yet. i was gettig away from them to see you. and you let me down. you left us to go to the mall with some gay guy. literaly gay. i mean, he's awesome, he's great, he's a lot of fun. but i really thought we had something going here. maybe you don't like me as much as i hear. and maybe she is right. maybe you like your girlfriend more than you seem to show. maybe you should go fuck her, i mean you've already screwed me over.. the worst part is, as mad as i am, and as pissed as i am, and as much as i want to hate you right now, i can't. i think about it all, and i think about you, and i picture you in my head, and i can't be mad at you. maybe i like you too much. or maybe you didn't really do anything wrong. maybe there is more to the story than i know. but i'm dissapointed in you right now. very. and i wish we could go back in time and at leaest have you call me and tell me what's going on. i wish i didn't get my hopes up so high. then maybe i wouldn't have been hurt so bad...

your "beautiful brunette",
(obviously not beautiful enough)
  • Current Music
    *With Arms Wide Open* ::Creed::