January 27th, 2004

I don't know

to whoever cares,

Sometimes... a lot of times... i just don't know about anything. i don't know what i want to do or where i want to be. i don't know who really cares about me or who really wants to care about me. I don't know if people are truly my friends or if they are just pretending. a lot of times i don't even know how i feel. i'm happy most of the time. i think. i guess all i can say is i just don't know anymore.


  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely

(no subject)

Hey kids, I hate to sell myself via internet, but it would do my heart good for you to add my band's journal fine_so_far to your friend's list. We just started it today (after finding out a code is no longer required for an LJ) and would be much appreciative. Thank you, mucho!
tangerine dream

(no subject)

kiss my lips
they're not as cold
as my broken heart

love my way

don't wish me away
i'm far too gone already

i'd love you to love me
i'd let you inside my head

tell me i'm perfect

so i can tell you
just how crazy you are

don't pretend you don't hear me cry
when you hold me close
your silence doesn't break my heart

this is an understatement

i'm not in love with you
i only care more than i should

swallow my insanity
  • Current Mood
    content content

(no subject)

Dear Vince,

Hey, I don't know how to say this exactly, so I guess I'll do the best I can. I know you'd rather be working with Nicole on this show, and that's completely understandable. I know you're more comfortable with her, and you're used to working with her. I don't know if I'll be able to work well with you unless I get some of this straightened out. I guess I've always kind of gotten the feeling that you don't like me very much. I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid. It's probably just because you don't know me very well. I was also thinking it might be because of the whole chamber choir thing...when Lauren and Sydney were saying I was too sensitive or whatever, and I heard (and could see why) you kind of felt the same way. I got all that talked out with Sydney and Lauren, but I never addressed it with you. Not that I necessarily want to justify anything, maybe just to explain myself and where I'm coming from. I'm not asking you to magically become my best friend and hang out with me 24/7, just for a chance to get along and have a bit more chemistry onstage I guess. I'm sorry if maybe I haven't been the most outgoing or garrulous....I'm kind of shy and when I let myself go (either on purpose or accident) I either end up making a fool of myself or getting upset. I'm sorry for that, and that's my fault. I'd really like to be cool with you, mostly because I admire you and look up to you. If you want to talk about this, that's cool, and if not that's fine too. I just needed to let you know how I've been feeling for myself as well as for your sake. Well, thanks for listening, and I'll see you soon.

Love always,