Dear _____,[Unknown LJ tag]
I still can't believe how you tore this family apart with your pathetic actions and stupid remarks. Did you honestly think you could get away with it until the very end? But what you don't know is that everyone knows about it. But no one is saying anything. You're also a hyptocrite in so many ways. Making comments about our
family, saying how her father's whipped when you're whipped also -- if not worse. So now we're making our final choice and moving away from you where you can't hurt anymore and where you can't run your lines. Where you can't act nice and loving for three weeks then a total dick for a month.
You've been threating to do this for awhile now -- but its not over until you walk out that door calling out ''see ya'' but you have yet to do that. Are you really going to, or are to chicken shit to leave us? Are you still claiming you love my mother but going off with the whore every other day claiming no one would love her as much as you do?
Thats bull shit and you know it.
Don't worry about us though. Especially me. Although it seems you never do, anyways. In my mind you're already gone. Through out the past sixteen years, even though we're not blood related I tried to make you proud but always felt like I was coming up too short. You never said ''way to go'' or ''good job'' when I got good grades, or never showed up for that play back in December I was in. But hearing my mom say that was the proudest shes ever been of me made all the dissapointment of the shit we've been through go away. Atleast for a few minutes. And it was the best I felt in a long time.
The only actual time I remember you helping me out was when I fell running off the school bus all those years back. I had to fucking limp downstairs to the apartment. You turned the t.v. on for me then went in the other room while my leg was still bleeding.
I can tell you one thing though. Nothing can ever fix the trauma and dissapointment thats been in me and your son for the past few years. You said you would stop, but hey.. there you go again out the door for another night, then come back acting as if nothing happened.
I don't think any words could possiably express how sad I am that all this happened. For a long time, I thought I was the cause of all this. You remember that one year when I went to Camp the first time in Maryland, and I never called because we were always doing something? When I came back that Friday, I found my mom crying in the car. It was soon after I found out the stupid ass thing you were doing. And it broke her heart. Along with mine.
And to think I almost took my own life because of you. Yes, I thought it was my fauly and yes I thought if I did something like suicide, that it would all stop. God, you have no idea how happy I am for not doing that. Because I realized that even if I did, it wouldn't have stop. My mom would have been more miserable then she is now, and she'd still be stuck with you. And to think she tried to do the same thing to herself too.
I guess your just one thing everyone to escape from.
I also don't think any words could possiably express how mad I am at you for doing this to us. Sure, I've never had a real father I could look up to. I mean, my real father said he never wanted kids; and look, five minutes later he has two of them. And I honestly thought you were different -- but I guess I was wrong, huh? Seems we always get the shitty end of the deal in alot of things. But thats supposed to make you stronger in the end. Right?
So now I'm waiting for the day when you either leave or we go to D.C. to settle this. In some odd way, it seems comforting to know that in the end we're going to win. You can leave with whats-her-name, but thats all
you'll have, really.Now much there, now is it? The family knows whats going on and honest to God, they probably think less of you now. We'll get what money we need from you every month, Mikey will either come with us, go out on his own or go with you (God forbid) but you've really messed us all up big time.
Thanks a whole fucking lot.
Seriously. What did my mother ever to do to you? Besides be a good and faithful
wife? And you have to go and not only fuck her over but the rest of us as well. I can tell you one positive thing thats come out of all this though -- me and my mother have gotten closer, and have a bond you could never fucking break if you tried. So go off with whats-her-name if you want, and go fuck yourself. :)
Also, I realized something else while typing this out:You make me sick.
Whoo.. went a bit too personal there, but I had to vent.