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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Sunday, January 18th, 2004

Time Event
12:45a
Dear_____

I miss you. Why did you leave? I never thought I would ever miss you this much. But, I do. I hate seeing you, because it just reminds me of how it used to be. I want to get over you. I want all these stupid feelings to end. It is in the past. You're always around, with her. Which makes everything so much harder for me. You make think its funny, but you just don't realize how hard it is, and you probably don't even care. You have new things to care about. More important things. Her for instance. And your new friends. My existance to you is meaningless. Just pretend I don't exist and go on with your happy little life.
6 ||x
9:52a
I'm leaving this community. It helped me vent my shit whenever I was mad, but... Lifes really great. Maybe ill come back when it becomes down hill again, but i doubt it.

Anyone one who needs a friend, just add me and I will add you back.
love.
x
8:26p
"You, you try, you try to get by, but you're never gonna pull it off, you shouldn't even try."
I hate you, I hate this. It rarely bothers me anymore, I'm growing, I'm becoming stronger. But you're not helping, this fucking isn't helping. You say you love her but its' just another lie, and it's just hurting me even though Id on't want it to, even though it doesn't most of the time. But the times I am hurt? Like now? I just want to cry. I want to die. I want to fucking die because you broke my heart, and it hasn't quite filled, and the words I read just tear open the wounds you left bit by bit. I hate the fact that I can't cry, I hate the fact that you rub this in my face, I hate how weak I am without you, and I hate how useless I always am because of this. I hate being sad. And I am, because of this. I wish I could cry. But I can't.

*Tries to make tears fall but just stares, with eyes scrunched up, shaking, at the screen* Nothing seems here for me anymore, I don't even seem like me anymore. This isn't fair, this never was fair, and why did you tell me you loved me in the first place, why did you do this, Matt?! Why..? why.....

</3 always, Me.

Current Mood: depressed
4 ||x
10:44p
Dear *****,

I love you..and you know that..You're my best friend..We tried, for 5 days..it didnt work out.

You know why..I'm really sorry.

But you need to move on..I'll always love you.

You need to find someone that can make you happy..

I dont anymore..

All I do is hurt you.

You cant lie and say that I dont..I can always tell when you're lying..and every time you tell me you're fine I know you're hurting.

I cant do this to you anymore..Its taking too much out of me.

So this is my goodbye.

I'll love you until I die.

<3-Courtney.
5 ||x

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