I wish to tell you, I'm sorry for all the sh!t things I put you through, all the times I acted liek a complete bitch and expected you to stay by my side, which you did and I love you for that. It sucks that you have to be 1500 miles away but I guess I get what I deserve, even if its you in Flordia and me in New Jersey, and you with a new replacement girl...
yea I wish I could just tell my exboyfriend that but I can't... his birthday is in a few days... And I guess I haven't been exactly myself lately... :(
i don't know what we are... i don't know what we were.. i know what we can be.. we were so nervous that my mom wouldnt like you.. but she did. she loved you. you were all that she would talk about. we thought the 4 and a half year difference would throw everything off.. it didnt.. or at least we didnt think so. but now i see otherwise.. maybe.. i dont know.. maybe we're just on two totally different levels. 20 and 15.. things get confusing then. you're such a cool kid. you never cease to make me smile from ear to ear. my stomach does constant somersaults when i'm around you. the silly thing is, we've never kissed, only held hands. but in that time that we held hands... i felt like i knew you. and i felt like you knew me. maybe i was wrong. again i hear my mom saying "have you talked to brandon today?" i quietly speak a muttered "mhm" and go about my business. i had to hold your hand. you never tried to get closer to me. i never knew i had the guts to do something like that. little as it is, it was a big step. so here i am, you're fast asleep.. or so i think.. maybe out partying with your cousin Gena.. either way, you're my pointless forever. i could try for forever and three days, but i don't think we'd understand each other. i still love talking to you, and you've made me realize that its ok to be single, its alright to just "hang out" as friends and that i need to understand me before i can understand you. you want to really know who i am? yeah, well so do i. maybe i'll write you back sometime.. let you know how things are going on my side of town. but until then, you're forever pointless. </3