i never liked you when i first saw you. but being naiive and young, i fell for your act. you were taking me over christina. wow. every girl dreams for this. ...but then i was a figment of your imagination.
you caught my heart though. i went to all my mothers races just to see you. then i even gave up karate. i ran every week..and all that motivated me was you.
then you heard..you heard about thsi younger girl who wasnt exactly 'hot' loved you. but you absorbed it. it gave you strength to know you were anamored. then we talked. its always a big time in a little girls life when she finally talks to her crush. you wanted friendship. i wanted love. we'd decided to see how it played.
everyone soon knew. you didnt mind at first. you were lonely. you needed me. i was lonely. i loved you. then she came along.
she was exactly like ME...except an older, more sophisticated version...and she was lonely too. you let it slip to me, and you slowly broke my heart. i had to forget you. you had to forget me.
slowly..i started to evolve from some young dorky girl with long hair, braces, and glasses to a mature woman with contacts, short cut, staright teeth, and two feet to stand on. and you were slowly trying to pry yourself away from commitment. then you wanted me again. i was the backup. the secondhand rose. the leftover.
i knew you were all wrong for me..but how could i leave you now? we'd be together, laughing, talking forever..thsi is what i dreamed of!!!
then people began talking. 'shes too young.. jackie was hotter...shes too smart for you...christina was cuter'..and you sucked into it...you couldnt loose your reputation could you?
it was a secret friendship from now on. but then i called it off. no..i am too good for your games.
but you needed me to cry on. to tell your secrets to. to open up. but those words remained in your memory.
then you told me 'we cant be together anymore...your too young...your beautiful...but not as pretty as the rest'
you had let go...now it was my turn.
day by day..i'm getting by. i'm seeing all my newer prospects..trying to get used to the guys who cherish me...we dont talk anymore. you never knew me...i never knew you. we never hid a secret love. or share secrets that no one will ever hear. we never looked at each other with wide eyes..smiling at our happiness.
i hope one day you'll mention me in a conversation to your children. when they ask who nathalie was, you'll say 'a girl that taught me everything and truely loved me'.
good bye <3