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Monday, January 5th, 2004

Time Event
4:25p
I think I love you. But what am I so afraid of?

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I'm afraid I'll lose you.. that's what.

Current Mood: contemplative
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5:10p
wandering into the land of if onlys and what ifs

what if we remained best friends?

would you still have rebeled like you did?

what if you did invite me to that stupid party?

would we have been closer?

what if andrea liked me?

would you like me more?

what if you started using when we were still friends?

would i have gone along w/ the trend?

what would i have done if we were still friends and you're mom starting acting the way she did?

would i be able to stand it?

what would i say to you?

would my mom step in like always and set her straight?

or would she even go down that path if our mom's were still friends?

would my mom start babysitting you're little brother and sister to keep them safe?

would she asked you to move in?

would you have?

if i wasnt stubborn, wouldnt we still be best friends?

if we were still best friends....

would u still have ruined ur life?

 

please keep me from wandering in the land of if onlts and what ifs.......... its not a happy place...



Current Mood: thoughtful
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7:09p
dear jay;
i wish you wouldn't over analyze every move i make. you worry yourself time and time again over stuff that really isnt that important. yea; so maybe i haven't been the happiest ever the past week or so. but school really is stressing me. i'm sorry for scaring you. did you really think i would just leave? especially without talking to you about everything first? i can't imagine the rest of high school; maybe even the rest of my life without you. please; don't always worry. i spend enought time worrying about you.
i love you.
kaits.

"i remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch, and cry in front of you for the first time. you were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself."
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