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I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope
 
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Friday, January 2nd, 2004

Time Event
12:45a
unspoken, but I still miss you
Hello love...

I know I wasn't good for you. I know that down inside, I was desroying you. I also know that it wasn't my fault, and you reassured me of that. But I can't help this feeling. I thought I'd get over you...I thought it'd be easy. Almost 2 months since we were together, and just now am I coming to realize this.

I love you. I'm in love with you. And as much as I don't want to be...I am. I don't want to feel this way, because I love our friendship how it is. How we can talk about anything, and know that neither of us is dying inside because theres something there we can't say. And while I can't tell you this, it doesn't kill me inside. And I think thats because I know that you'd be burdened to know this.

Maybe someday soon you'll know how I feel. But for now, I'm content with knowing I'm not hurting you. You mean the world to me, love, even if I don't mean yours.

Always,
Holli

Current Mood: nostalgic
x
3:23a
I really wanna call you
but I know that it's not right
I probably shouldn't tell you
but I dreamt of you last night
I guess I'm not prepared to say
Goodbye so long farewell
I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away
You told me that you loved me
I started tearing down those walls
I really started to trust you
but you set me up to take the fall
I guess I'm not prepared to say
Goodbye so long farewell
I won't be seeing you again
Until next time that he goes away
I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love
But you're still the one that I'm dreaming of
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto
But you're holding onto someone else


"Everyone is worthy of being loved — just sometimes by somebody else."

Current Mood: depressed
x
10:53a
Dear whoever,

We are in love!

love, me
x
11:12a
To Him,
You finally did it...you told me soo many times during the summer you were scared that we are going to drift away..well we finally did...i mean i havent seen you since we got back together...and we drifted away at the wrong time too...i have been soo fucking depressed and the person that i cared about for all my life fucking died...and every1 was there to be with me and make me happy i mean even fucking rich the person that was soo fucking selfish and such an asshole all fucking summer was trying to make me happy! i guess i overlooked him...but not the point every1 was there except you...thats who i wanted to be there the most..and you werent...it fucking killz me that i know you dont care half as much as i care about you...and even worst...i dont know if i want to be with you anymore but i dont know cuz right now i dont have the strength to feel that emptyness you gave months ago right now...but i still have it because your never around...i mainly fucked over...im literally stuck and cant go nowhere in this situation...i have never been like this...mayb this is addin on to my depression...let me ask you...how can someone be miserable with some1 as much as they were with out? ill leave you with that question and when you find out please tell me

Current Mood: aggravated
2 ||x
8:03p
I can't believe you. You pretend to be a good person.. but all it is is fucking pretend. You say one thing to one person, and something completely different to someone else. You're such a liar. I used to look up to you. I used to think that you were a good person and that I could trust you but all you fucking do is lie to people. You used to give me hope...that maybe the world is an okay place to be in. That it's possible to be a good person, and that it's not completely hopeless to try. I guess I finally woke up and smelled the fucking coffee. And now, I don't want to trust you. I don't want to talk to you about it, I don't want to have you convince me that it's all okay, just to turn around later and find out the fucking truth. That you lied... again.

Current Mood: cynical
x
11:53p
Jeremi.. all I want to say is..
Cotten candy don't get wet until it's in your mouth. ;)
<3 me

Ps. Thanks for the nickname Cotten candy. ;)

Pss. I asked God to stop letting me dream about you because you know.. you're just so sexy. rawr.

Current Mood: giggly
x

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