Stop dragging him along until you find someone better. Stop promising your love to him, and making him think everything is okay. Stop being selfish. Stop talking about how "hott" every other guy is, when you want him to have more confidence. Fucking cunt.
I've been talking to this guy online for a while now and since tonight is new years, he went out and got drunk and did drugs...so i yelled at him because 1) I just don't like drugs, and 2) he is supposed to be quiting. This is just part of our convo that I liked. (I'm xsolastsummerxhc)
nuthin (3:58:05 AM): i'm sorry i messed up today xsolastsummerxhc (3:58:24 AM): with the drugs? nuthin (3:59:18 AM): yeah xsolastsummerxhc (3:59:25 AM): that's ok xsolastsummerxhc (3:59:34 AM): just as long as your trying to quit xsolastsummerxhc (3:59:41 AM): just no more tonight nuthin 3:59:41 AM): i am xsolastsummerxhc (3:59:44 AM): ok? nuthin (3:59:45 AM): okk
nuthin (4:12:06 AM): i luv youuuu
nuthin (4:43:10 AM): you can do it! nuthin (4:43:22 AM): i believe in you :-P xsolastsummerxhc (4:43:32 AM): haha ok xsolastsummerxhc (4:43:37 AM): we believe in each other xsolastsummerxhc (4:43:46 AM): we have a lot of promises to keep xsolastsummerxhc (4:43:48 AM): lol nuthin (4:43:59 AM): lol nuthin (4:44:06 AM): i think we can do it xsolastsummerxhc (4:44:22 AM): me too
^^When he said he believed in me...I was like awww. We made promises like...to talk to each other forever and never stop, he has to quit doing drugs, i have to talk to my friend...and more that i can't think of at the moment...well thanks for allowing me to take up your time.
as much as you deny yourself i know who you really are and i know how you really feel; i know you better than you want me to and now i went and did this i've broken you. don't deny it. as much as you hate it and hate me for saying it you can't deny it. priding yourself on your unbreakable heart looks like i went and broke it and a million tears from my jaded eyes can't make up for your anguish. you taught me so much; how to live how to laugh how to love and this is how i repay you. your promise to never yell so as to never make me cry it fell through. the cracking of your voice and the betrayed, helpless look in your eye shook me. it shook me to the core and i sit here broken.
what the fuck am i thinking. i cant show you this. i've got to be nuts to even think youd read it. goddamn. shoot me.
Jon :: I love you more than you will understand. And I don't know why I did it, or maybe I do. I can only hope one day you will forgive me for what I've done, forgive me for killing your spirit. I know what I said to you didn't come out right, and all I ask is the chance to explain, and to tell you I love you.
I need a fucking gun. </b>Somebody give me a fucking gun.