December 4th, 2003

i hate you

I just wanted to say this:

You hurt me more than anyone could have ever hurt someone. You took advantage of me in my time of need. You cheated on me and you left me with scars I will never ever be able to cover. Everyone sees what is wrong with me. Everyone looks at me and they know what happened. I look at myself in the mirror and I am ashamed of what I see. Why couldn't you just leave me alone? Why did you have to pretend so long that you loved me? You said you would never hurt me. You told me that you would be honest and never hurt me. I just hope that some day someone hurts you like you hurt me. Then, maybe... just possibly you could understand what I feel. Every night I see your fucking face when I go to bed. I close my eyes and I am haunted by your image. Every memory I have of you is tainted. I am nothing more than a used soul, and I can't get past that. I hate myself for letting you take advantage of me. I hate myself for letting you get away with it for so long. And most of all... I hate you.

I am moving on. There is nothing better than that feeling. But still, I find myself haunted by you. You are a fucking bastard ...a prick ...a loser... you deserve nothing from me, but you took everything. One day you will know... one day...

another song...

TSL...

A better summer
Was in your arms
Spent tangled up in you
A sudden morning
Crashed in the room
With an uninvited sudden change in you
What can I say?
Where’s that girl from last night?
Who slept on that side
And looks just like you too
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
Sleep away a separate pain
Screaming out my name
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
I hope for your sake
You don’t wake up
As broken as I am
For lack of better
Words to say
All I said was goodnight
Once again
In self-defense I won’t sleep a wink
To prevent dreaming of you
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
Sleep away a separate pain
Screaming out my name
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
I hope for your sake
You don’t wake up as broken as I am
Sleep in your own bed tonight
I know someday you will wake up as lonely as I am
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
Sleep away a separate pain
Screaming out my name
You can sleep in your own bed tonight
I hope for your sake
You don’t wake up as broken as I am
Sleep in your own bed tonight
I know someday you will wake up as lonely as I am
Cuz fate works both ways
Cuz fate works both ways
Cuz fate works both ways
Sleep in your own bed