November 28th, 2003

(no subject)

I hate how he has the right to be open about his life, but I don't. He's in love, and he can just go right up, and announce "I'm in love!" and despite the fact that no one cares, he can say it and get it off his chest. Me, I could never do a thing like that. God forbid I tell my family that I'm in love with Matt, I think I'd get beat, and then lectured, and then grounded. God forbid I tell my friends I'm in love with Matt, they'd just worry about me and never understand, never know what it's like to be in this situation. Fuck it, God forbid I tell myself that I'm in love with Matt, because it just causes more pain and more heartbreak and I can't deal with it all.

"Every poem I write,
Every song I make
It doesn't help
I can't stop, can't think.
I can't get you off my mind,
I can't say no,
I can't say goodbye,
This fucking blows.
The things I want most
I'll never get,
There's nothing to do
But wait and sit.
I can't get over this
No matter how hard I try...
All the truths from you
I now know are lies.

God I know this sucks. I just wrote it off the top of my head. I promise I'll give you something good later.
  • Current Mood
    bitchy angsty and anxious

(no subject)

I told you I would, so I am. Here's a better poem.

I Thought It Mattered

"I stare into your eyes,
I'm mesmerized.
I feel this tingly warmth
Through my insides,
But I begin to cry
As I realize
All the times
That you lied.
I thought I meant more,
But apparently not.
You closed that door.
Nothing matters anymore,
I'm not just a whore!
But you don't care,
It doesn't matter that it's not fair!
You're not here,
And I'm not there.
You told me you loved me
I was so blinded
I actually believed
That I could be good enough for you,
That you were true,
This was new,
But so quickly, it's through.
It no longer matters...
That I love you."

Comment if you like it. Ooor, if you don't. I'd like to know what people think.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired