November 27th, 2003

Dear Friend,

i wish i could tell you everything about everything, but it's too long of a story and too much to understand. i just wish my mom would leave me alone. every little thing she says about my "attitude" and my "clothes" and my room and everything i do just adds up. it sounds ridiculous if i told you that i took some of the things she says personally, but i do. i'm sensitive, and i can't help it. i can't just let these things that she says to me every day just roll off my back. i can't. that's why i'm posting this letter. it may not make sense, and it might sound cheesy or something, but i hate her. she's so difficult to handle & i just wish i was out on my own and i'd never have to deal with her again. ever.
  • Current Mood
    cranky cranky

(no subject)

Why be thankful for my life, for my family, for my friends? Nothing means anything without you. You mean everything to me. And since I lost you, nothing means anything. So, since I can't be thankful that I have you, like I will always wish I could, I'll just be thankful of the times I spent with you, because I could ask for nothing more than to spend forever with you.

im sick of writing every song about you

the feeling creeps back into my system every now and then.
when the winter cold comes streaming into my bedroom underneath a poorly constructed window.
and it takes me back to that time when we could lay in your bed for hours.
literally, hours upon hours.
always at night
because no one was to know.
and we would just lie down and watch dvds on your computers and talk about memories and the future.
and i would stroke the back of your hand while you talked.
and you would nuzzle into my neck.
and i used to think i was the luckiest girl in the world.
i would walk around with a smile on my face
because it didnt matter how skinnyother girls were, or how white their teeth, or how perfect their makeup and hair
i had the perfect boyfriend.

we were perfect together.
we were going to get married.
i was 15.
and now im 17.
thats still scary.

i cant fall back into that place.

but at the same time i cant stay away.

(no subject)

What I'm Grateful For

It’s hard to find something to be grateful for
When so much went wrong this year
When I watched so many things fall apart
And so many bonds just disappear

But then I think of your smile
And I get that good feeling inside
And I know I always had at least one person
Who was fighting with me on my side

When I couldn’t throw another punch
You took over my fight
And when I couldn’t see in the shadows
You turned on the light

You were my safe harbor
Even in the worst of storms
And you were my thickest blanket
That always kept me warm

When I had tears running down my face
You wiped each one away
And when I felt my hope wearing thin
You promised me a brighter day

When I felt like I had nothing left
And all I wanted to was die
You picked me up off the ground
And gave me another reason to try

You were always there for me
Even after all that we’ve been through
So, I just thought you should know
Baby, what I’m grateful for… is you

27 November 03
© Me

...happy thanksgiving...