November 8th, 2003

heh... newbie here.

do you understand just what i would have done do to make you happy? you said in the beginning "yeah i like you..." I actually believed it. a full year i have spent on you. i thought i was in love, but now i can tell myself you were nothing more than an obsession. Do you have any clue as to how much i cried over you? So many nights were spent on my bed, crying so hard because i wanted you so bad but i couldn't have you. i told you how much i liked you, hell i even wrote you a poem. i understand maybe your in love with laura, but look at what she has done to you. she cheated on you AND lied to you about it. You were such a fool, i was the bigger fool though. now that we're just friends sometimes i think i like you but i know i can't do that because i fear what you would do. i can't go to school without seeing you or thinking about you. i wonder sometimes just how i did get over you. when she wasn't there for you I was, after months of "being there for you" i finally realized that i was a last resort for you. sorry mister, i will no longer be your last resort. i've moved on. you think that i still like you but i don't. you had your chance, you stuck with the girl 3040 miles away. wise choice my friend. now i send you things for you to send to her so your relationship will get better, your online relationship with a girl you will never see again. the road trip to san diego, the plane tickets, all that over the girl who made your life hell. sometimes i wish i can pull you aside when your bragging about your "digital love" and slap you so hard. you don't know how much your humiliating yourself. i just hope you realize just what you missed.

**i've written many letters that i can't give. if anybody wants to hear them or whatnot, feeel free to comment and i'll post some more.**
  • Current Music
    the set-up - Zebrahead
love me dammit.


hey kid where are you?!
i love you.

you are the greatest friend a girl could have and i couldn't thank you more for being there for me.
you understand me so completely it's hard to believe we've only been friends for less than a year.
i don't think you completely get just how much i love you.
or how grateful i am to have you.
you help me out so much.
you help my life make more sense.
you make me laugh when i think there can be no possible way for me to smile.
is it a bad thing that my boyfriend can't even do that?
am i going out with the wrong guy?
i would die for you.
but i'd die for him too.
i don't know.
but i do know that i love you.
and i miss you.
i wish i could see you right now.

i hope i'm not a bad person.
  • Current Music
    *~it's a shame i don't think that they'll even care~*