November 6th, 2003


we were driving and this song came on and you said it was a bad recording. you started singing the "against the windowpane" part and then you put on the cd version.

i felt like i was flying. and you were holding my hand and it got so surreal. we stopped talking and everything was that song. and the road and the lights and your hand in mine. i was trying so hard to stop shaking so you wouldn't know how much i needed you right at that moment. i could never tell you this.

you don't know how hard i'm trying get this memory out of my head. and how i won't tell anyone because no one would get it, like a dream.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.

(no subject)

I feel so distant.

What can I do to make us closer? What can I do to make things Ok again? What can I do to truly be yours? I love you, with all my heart, and it's taken me so long to realize it, because... I didn't want to love you. Things are too complicated between us, because of the families, because of the age. But I do love you, and you love me, despite all the times I've tried to fuck this up, despite my faults, despite how little you see me, despite my age, and despite my family... You love me, and I love you, so that should be all that matters.. Right?

*Sigh* But it isn't. And it never will be.

*Holds your hands, and pulls you close to me, wrapping my hands around your waist and whispering into your ear, "I love you, me amo."*
  • Current Music
    Midtown, "One Last Time"
fear me love me do as i say and i will b

im having problems...

hi, im a new member. my life is full of drama. and i have a letter to wirte. and i dont have enough guts to send it to this person....

Dear Josh,

i like you. a lot. and oyu know that. and you told me that you liked me too. and you have no idea how great that made me feel. i have a small problem. you kept telling me that we would go out. and that hasn't happened. now you barely even talk to me. you are always talking to amanda. i understand that she is your best friend but that doesnt mean that you should ignore everyone else to talk to her. you dont even talk to me. remember me? the girl that you said you like. remember? you told ME that you like me. you wouldnt tell Brittney or Gina. but you did tell me. well. i don't have enough guts to show you this. but i may talk to you about this. exactly one week ago you said you were getting a weird feeling about going out with me. and then you said "just give me a week to straighten things out, just please dont be mad at me" and i told ou that i would never be mada t you. so then you said "it probly won't even be a week. i can't wait that long." and i believed you. like a fool i believed every word that you said. i was trusting you. and now i dont know who to trust. it seemd as though i couldnt trust anyone at all. and then you came along. and you were always there for me. and i started to trust Courtney more. well. you lost that trust. we need to talk. very badly. i need to straighten things out with you. i need to know if you still have feelings for me. because if you dont. then i need to know that. so i can move on. i shall call you soon.
your dear friend,

that was very stress relieving. thank you community for being here for me tro write this letter in. i could have never done that in my own livejournal. if anyone has any advice please lend it to me. please...
  • Current Music
    *Letters To You* ::Finch::