my drug of choice (sweettartxo) wrote in _letterstoyou_,
my drug of choice
sweettartxo
_letterstoyou_

Dear Danny,

i deleted that picture of you two. i cant look at the way you hold her, and i'm happy she screwed up. i'm happy you don't want her. but karma smacked me in the face because you still won't speak to me..you won't speak to me because of HER..because you felt guilty about thinking of me...because i cared for you...because i LOVED you.

she screwed it up once again. i remember. it was july, i was a dork, and you were with her. now we are the closest of friends and i only thought about you every second, and she came again. right after i said 'i love you'. and then you were happy..yet confused. you were always complaining about how much NOBODY loved you and now you had 2 who did with all their hearts. and then you lied to me, and i'm guessing you lied to her. but obviously she had taken you 1st and you then decided to cast me away as to no communication whatsoever.

i still can't believe you did that. and y'know what? i know you are alone. i know you need me..you need the way i listened every minute and never compalined about you never listening to me..the way i always gave you my shoulder to cry on even when you never even told anyone about the hours we talked each day. and now you are too 'manly' as to ask for my help again. and i won't give in. i was afraid about getting hurt so badly that i never revealed my truth. but as teh truth came out..so did everything. the skeletons in your closet and the cobwebs that surrounded them. you two were still talking. she was in love with you. and you fell under her spell again....and once again refused my call.

now we are back at square one. you two are split, shes hurt, and you are lonely. i am still the girl watching in the distance. we all learn from history, for it repeats itself constantly..so accurately. i hope thsi vicious cycle ends soon.

and now..what do i do? i run..run faster, farther. away from my problems yet facing them as it makes me stronger. you were the one that guided me to run and now it comes in handy. and when i feel that pain, i hear those voices, and my eyes lay upon your face....i will keep going...and maybe you'll congratulate me at the finish.

as always..
love, nathalie
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