I am trying really hard to make our friendship work.
Really fucking hard.
Because I love you so much.
I cannot have a relationship with you.
You dont realise how much I hate that I have hurt you.
It pains me to no end.
The other day I cried on you and you held me and it was so nice.
Because I felt you were still there for me even though we aren't a couple anymore.
If I went out with you I would just be using you as a security blanket. My heart wouldn't be in it.
I couldn't kiss you like I used too.
You would notice.
I am sorry I never made love to you.
You were so great and you never asked for anything.
It would have been a wonderful thing for you.
Alas no. You ex is still a virgin.
But I cannot do it. I am just too screwy in the head,
I dont think I will ever have sex with anyone to be brutally honest.
I am talking to you right now..
Why cant it be like before we went out?
we have been through to much.
Near broke my heart when you gave me the ultimatum the other day.
Thats why I cried too.
I dont want to lose you,
Your one of the most unique people I have met and your special.
We share things no one knows.
We were besties once and it was so good.
I am sorry I tore out your heart and stepped on it twice,
That sounds horrible but thats how you said it.
I really am.
I care about you.
You went and saw a counsellor the other day.
If I hadnt have broken up with you then u would be ok.
Still kind of ignoring your problems but still.
I dont like it when your unhappy.
You helped me so much and taught me so much.
I wont give this friendship up without a fight.
Passive aggressive net convo's or not.
Your worth fucking more than that.
I will ALWAYS be here for you.