You've subbed at school so many times and each time I want to tell you everything but I feel like it'd be such an unnecessary burden to you. As I write to you I am unsure that I will ever send this to you..though I probably should, I might not. There's been so much random stuff going on this year. It seems like everytime one person gets over a break down another person starts falling apart. Well then again that's really just Jackie and I.
I don't know if Jackie or Michelle or someone ever told you but last year about the week after Jackie and I talked to you about my depression I had a lil encounter with cutting. My mom found out but I really have never gotten over it. It's always in the back of my mind. It seemed like such a simple solution to my problems but caused so much chaos in reality. So often I want to revert back to that. It was so much easier. As long as no one knew I could take everything out on myself and be happy around other people.
There really was a point in telling you that...oh right. This year with out you to talk to I'm falling apart again. I don't know how far it'll go and I'm a little scared to talk about where it's gone in the past couple of months. I guess my point in this is I really want to know that I'm not a burden to you. You keep telling me to stay in touch and there is nothing I want more than your advice right now. You've made such a huge difference in my life and I appreciate it beyond expression. I just hope you'll keep making that difference.
I don't know..should I send it to her? What do you guys think?