i've got big BIG plans. (anewfoundjess) wrote in _letterstoyou_,
i've got big BIG plans.

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i'm dying to explain my heart to you now . ..

dear gordon,
                    i know that i shouldn't be writing this.  but i never get to talk to you online.  i know that we've been over this a million times... i won't get into it.  i just wanted you to know that i miss you so much.  it seems retarded for me to miss you so much.  since we've only known each other for 5 months.  but i can't help but think that i'm missing out on something big.  we need each other ... okay, I need YOU.  without you, i feel alone.  i don't write this to make you feel bad.  and i'm not going to get over you.  i'm NOT.  i keep hoping that things will change.  that maybe someday, along down the line, we could start seeing each other again.  everytime i see pictures of us , it makes me smile.. yet cry because i know that i can't hold your hand. or hug you. or kiss you.  i know it sounds corny, but hey, it's true.  all of this is true.  valentines day was the last day i saw you.... if i had known that things would have turned out like they did i would have held on to that moment just a little more longer.  please don't give up hope that something can come out of this... don't move on... don't forget about me.  i know if things were different , we'd be together.  well, i just wanted to get this out becuase it has been bottled up inside of me every single day since we broke things off.  i already know all your arguments to this... don't bother telling me them.  and i know that you know my feelings towards you.  but it doesn't hurt to try again right?  maybe it does... maybe i'm just wasting my time, but i don't care.  you know how i feel, i know how you feel. 
                                    love always,
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