*j (something2vague) wrote in _letterstoyou_,

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what happened?

What has happened?

We always had a spark, we talked and got along so well for years. Now that we have the opporitunity to go further with our feelings, the spark has dimmed. You took huge risk in getting involved with me, seeing as i just came out of a relationship with your best friend. That meant so much to me, that you risked every thing to be with me. We get a long and have so much in common. The first bit of summer we were so close and tried to spend as much time as possible together. We both worked basically every day, so it was really hard. But we managed. It was great. We would sit outside on summer nighst and talk till 4am. Where has that gone? now we are lucky to talk for 5 minutes over the phone. The past few days it has been a bit better. I don't want to stop this, i also dont want to force it.

You say you can't lose me, and that you have been going crazy lately with out me. Some times it just doesnt show I guess. This is where i have really come to believe the statement "actions speak louder than words". I know you do really like me, and that you have for a while. Im just starting to think that you dont like me as much as you think, you say you need me. People say you talk about me non stop, ya I think thats cute. I don't know, things have just been crazy lately. You start college on tues, I am excited for you! I hope we can see eachother more. Im not even the clingy type... its just i can not have a relationship that is based on talking or seeing eachother once a week or less.... That just doesnt work for me.

I don't know, it might be that I'm a little messed up from things in the past as well.. Being used, cheated on... Things like that have sort of made me afraid of getting attached to guys. Thats why i havent jumped into a relationship with you. Maybe thats why you are distant? I really don't understand waht has been going on. Last month every thing was perfect. Now its completely different. Im not sure if it can go back to the way it was. I feel that we have lost touch...

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