you only come to be my friend a few times a month, but when it happens it hits hard and at the wrong times, too. my mind becomes crazy and it wraps around every tangible thing and destroys it when i can't sleep. i can focus on anything - everything is sharp and it seems to all be coming at me, fast. i try to distract myself with things that are soft around the edges and then my mind starts to take control again and it doesn't let me go until i finally close my eyes without opening them. please go away.
so i know i've only met you a couple times. and i know you're my best friends best friend. and i know we kissed and i know you said you were "just drunk." and i know you have a long-distance relationship. and i really like you all of a sudden, and fuck. i don't know why. you're so cute. i seriously think so. i hope when we held hands and we were cute and you gave me a hug you were sober..ish. when we kissed i was sober. when we held hands i wasn't but when we hugged when you went home i was. and i liked that hug, and i kind of want to have alot of those hugs. please dont fall for bethany.