If only I could tell you everything about everything that has happend in my life. If only I could tell you how I felt. I want to tell you everything.. about how I can't look in the mirror anymore without crying or looking at tylenol bottles and wishing I had enough courage to pick it up and swallow it whole. I wish you knew about the razor blades in my top drawer wrapped in tissues in my heart shaped tin. I wish I could tell you how close I have come to ending it once and for all. I wish you heard me crying every night. I wish I could tell you all of this without you sending me somewhere or blaming yourself for anything. I know you went through all of this too, at least I'm guessing you did, but I can't find the courage to tell you about this. Or about how those boys used me. Or how I'm not "such a good girl" as you like to remind me everyday. I just wish that for once I could be totally honest with you and you wouldn't have a panick attack. This is what I wish for every day of my life.
Your Loving Daughter.