despondentbliss (despondentbliss) wrote in _letterstoyou_,

letter turned rant


I am going to be fucking sick. While I'm still miserable over you, you're already sleeping around. How do I know? Fine. I am obsessing over you. I have your password. And I logged in, and you had a new string of messages. You emailed her saying that you hope she enjoyed herself and you'll look out for her earring. Then she emailed you back saying she enjoyed it too but it was a really big deal for her, and she'd like you to call her up sometime. She called you "babe." You fucking slept with her! We've been over for 2 and a half weeks. And she's not even cute anyway. But I know you. She's just a one night stand for you. And she's getting attached to you. Because everyone fucking loves you. You're gorgeous and charming and girls fall for you so easily. And I was one of them. Just another girl to you. Nothing special. But at least I had the decency to not sleep with you. I got really close and I regret it, because now it's all too obvious that I mean absolutely nothing to you. You're ignoring me. I know you've still gotta be addicted to cocaine. When are you gonna stop fucking up your life? I still love you so much and I worry about you all the time. You're selling yourself short and making your life miserable. When are you gonna see it? And when are you gonna realize that you let go of the one person who really and truly cares about you, the one person who loves you more than anybody in this world will ever love you? I would do anything for you. I'd skip class to be there for you. Hell, I'd spend everything I own and fly across the world to be there for you if that's what it took. Because that's what love is really all about... putting others above yourself. You've never done that. You're always first. Which is pretty pathetic because you don't even think shit of yourself. But that's not gonna stop me. I don't care if you start shooting up heroin and sleeping with three different girls every night. I am always gonna love you, and I am always gonna be fighting for you. I've lost someone I love before and I refuse to lose you.


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