*j (something2vague) wrote in _letterstoyou_,

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WoW.. this has just been an emotional rollercoaster lately..

First I loved you and only you,
Then i decided to move on,
It had just been too long
I was sick of waiting..
Then i found him,
He seemed amazing.
Then he lied to me.
Now I'm back at square one.

Okay, I haven't talked to him yet about lying to me, cause we haven't been able to see eachother lately. But he invited me to his little brothers bday party the other day which was super cute. I couldn't go cause of work... I talked to you on sunday and you wanted to hang out cause the night before you couldn't sleep so you spent the night thinking about me and missed me. That was really amazing cause the night before i was up until 4 doing the same thing. We have some mental connection or something? Who knows. Today you were so sweet to me, Im trying to keep my distance, cause i keep getting my hopes up and not much ever seems to happen. I'm getting sick of waiting around. Its been the hardest thing to get over you, and every time i think im making progress i fall back down. Starting to feel for some one else really helped alot. I don't even know where i stand right now. I am lost and confused. I dont want to hurt any one. Him lying to me really had an impact on the way i feel, i mean honesty/trust are the best parts of a relationship. When i was with you we were friends for a long time before we started dating so that made it easier to have a stable relationship, i told you absolutely every thing. You never lied to me. It was great. I don't know if i ever will be able to find that again. I really hope I can. I know you still love me. I could really tell today (that sounds conceited, But i can just tell cause i know you so well.) We really need to talk things over. I need to hear you say that for sure nothing is going to happen with us, instead of this inbetween stuff.
I love you.. But i need to move on if nothing is going to happen.

"Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything."

Its not even funny how much that line relates to me... It actually has been 6 months since we broke up.

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