The quiet girl that no one ever knows (makebelievetree) wrote in _letterstoyou_,
The quiet girl that no one ever knows
makebelievetree
_letterstoyou_

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Dear Austin,

I'd say you were avoiding me.
Please tell me that's not the case.
Why would you?

Maybe you're still in Sho Lo. Maybe you get on the computer over there but are unable to message to me. It would explain you being on myspace and not on yahoo.
Maybe that's not the case...

Maybe your girlfriend some how found out we talk and told you not to talk to me anymore, even though we're just friends. Even though you told me you like me and I told you I like you. You'd go out with a girl that is bitchy like that? Just to let you know, I wouldn't be like that.
Maybe that's not the case either...

Or maybe when you told me you like me and I told you I like you, you would avoid me for that? But you talked to me the day after that.. so that can't be it either...

Maybe you don't know how to take off "invisible" and expect me to talk to you first.

Or maybe I'm not much to talk to.

You're really confusing, Austin. So much that I don't know what to do. I see that you're committed and happy with your relationship, yet you flirt with me. And if "When I can drive, I'll come over and we can have fun," is not flirting then I must not know what flirting is.

And that moment when you said "I was going to ask you out, but I was too shy," my heart beated out of control, my ears turned red, my fingers fumbled, and my face was a shade of cherry.
But when I read it again a day later I actually read the was and the could have, and the I'm sorry part, I got sad. You see, when I read it the first time I was stuck on the ask you out, make out, and the I had dreams of you too part so I wasn't really thinking clearly.

I wish you wouldn't have said was or could have or I'm sorry. You should have said: Wanna go out?, we should, and let's get together. I'm sorry you said the wrong things or better yet, didn't say the things I wanted you to say.

You're right to say sorry though. You were going to ask me out. You should have because I was (am) crushing bad on you. Which made me mad for a while because, well, I am crushing.
You should have for a lot more things. You're timing to tell me this was way off also. You should be sorry for that to. But it's so hard to be mad at you.

And I know I should be mad at you right now, but I'm not for some reason. I only get sad. Not so much depressed though. Just sad about what could have happened between us if you weren't shy. I think of that all the time.

If I could dedicate a song to you it would be Moving Units - "X and Y" just to be funny. Another song to you would be Go Sailors - "I just Do" for real.

So take a moment to analyze all that. Think of something to do about it. Think of me.

Love,
Bethany.
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